ill complains of his loss and not of his ailment. His own identity
is half hidden from him by the practical wants of his life.
Had Marie been disappointed in her love without the appearance of
any rival suitor, no one would have ever heard of her love. Had
George Voss married, she would have gone on with her work without a
sign of outward sorrow; or had he died, she would have wept for him
with no peculiar tears. She did not expect much from the world
around her, beyond this, that the guests should not complain about
their suppers as long as the suppers provided were reasonably good.
Had no great undertaking been presented to her, the performance of
no heavy task demanded from her, she would have gone on with her
work without showing even by the altered colour of her cheek that
she was a sufferer. But this other man had come,--this Adrian
Urmand; and a great undertaking was presented to her, and the
performance of a heavy task was demanded from her. Then it was
necessary that there should be identity of self and introspection.
She had to ask herself whether the task was practicable, whether its
performance was within the scope of her powers. She told herself at
first that it was not to be done; that it was one which she would
not even attempt. Then as she looked at it more frequently, as she
came to understand how great was the urgency of her uncle; as she
came to find, in performing that task of introspection, how
unimportant a person she was herself, she began to think that the
attempt might be made. 'I suppose it had better be so,' she had
said. What was she that she should stand in the way of so many
wishes? As she had worked for her bread in her uncle's house at
Granpere, so would she work for her bread in her husband's house
at Basle. No doubt there were other things to be joined to her
work,--things the thought of which dismayed her. She had fought
against them for a while; but, after all, what was she, that she
should trouble the world by fighting? When she got to Basle she
would endeavour to see that the bread should rise there, and the
wine be sufficient, and the supper such as her husband might wish
it to be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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