To Nancy also it had made a great difference. She wished that she had
stayed there on the stairs a little longer to hold a more important
conversation. She had thought of her father as "all horrid"--now his
very contrast to her little world pleased and interested her. It may
also be that, although she was young, she had even now a picture in her
mind of her father's loneliness. She may have seen into her mother's
attitude with an acuteness much older than her actual years.
She thought now continually about her father. She made little plans to
meet him, but these meetings were not, as a rule, successful, because so
often he was down in the city. She would wait at the end of her
afternoon walk on the stairs.
"Come along, Miss Nancy, do. What are you hanging about there for?"
"Nothing."
"You'll be disturbing your mother."
"Just a minute."
She peered anxiously, her little head almost held by the railings of the
banisters; she gazed down into black, mysterious depths wherein her
father might be hidden. She was driven to all this partly by some real
affection that had hitherto found no outlet, partly by a desire for
adventure, but partly, also, by some force that was behind her and quite
recognised by her. It was as though she said: "If I'm nice to my father
and make friends with him, then you must promise that I shan't be
frightened in the middle of the night, that the clock won't tick too
loudly, that the blind won't flap, that it won't all be too dark and
dreadful." She knew that she had made this compact.
Then she had several little encounters with her father. She met him one
day on the doorstep. He had come up whilst she was standing there.
"Had a good walk?" he said nervously. She looked at him and laughed.
Then he went hurriedly indoors.
On the second occasion she had come down to be shown off at a luncheon
party. She had been praised and petted, and then, in the hall, had run
into her father's arms. He was in his top-hat, going down to his old
city, looking, the nurse thought, "just like a monkey." But Nancy
stayed, holding on to the leg of his trousers. Suddenly he bent down and
whispered:
"Were they nice to you in there?"
"Yes. Why weren't you there?"
"I was. I left. Got to go and work."
"What sort of work?"
"Making money for your clothes."
"Take me too."
"Would you like to come?"
"Yes. Take me."
He bent down and kissed her, but, suddenly hearing the voices of the
luncheon-party, they separated like conspirators. He crept out of the
house.
After that there was no question of their alliance. The sort of
affection that most children feel for old, ugly, and battered dolls,
Nancy now felt for her father, and the warmth of this affection melted
her dried, stubborn little soul, caught her up into visions, wonders,
sympathies that had seemed surely denied to her for ever.
"Now sit still, Miss Nancy, while I do up the back."
"Oh, silly old clothes!" said Nancy.
Then one day she declared,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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