The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.Mayhew, Henry
General
The Greatest Plague of Life: or, the Adventures of a Lady in Search of a Good Servant.
Mayhew, Henry
English wit and humor; Household employees
The first Sunday after she had come into the house, however, I found
that her late mistress wasn’t so far out in the character she had given
the minx; for lo and behold! my neat, unpretending chrysalis had changed
into a flaunting fal-lal butterfly. For after she had gone up stairs to
clean herself that afternoon, if my lady didn’t come down dressed out as
fine as a sweep on a May-day. Bless us and save us! if the stuck-up
thing hadn’t got on a fly-a-way starched-out imitation Balzorine gown,
of a bright ultramarine, picked out with white flowers--with a double
skirt, too, made like a tunic, and looking _so_ grand, (though one could
easily see that it could not possibly have cost more than
six-and-six--if that, indeed,) and drat her impudence! if she hadn’t on
each side of her head got a bunch of long ringlets, like untwisted
bell-ropes, hanging half way down to her waist, and a blonde-lace cap,
with cherry-coloured rosettes, and streamers flying about nearly a yard
long; while on looking at her feet, if the conceited bit of goods hadn’t
got on patent leather shoes, with broad sandals, and open-worked cotton
stockings, as I’m a living woman--and net mittens on her hands too, as
true as my name’s Sk--n--st--n. I had her in the parlour pretty soon,
for I wanted to ask her who the dickens she took me for. Of course, she
was very much surprised that I should object to all her trumpery finery
and fiddlefaddle; and she knew as well as I did that the terms I made
when I engaged her were--ten pounds a year, find her own tea and sugar,
and no followers, nor ringlets, nor sandals, allowed; and that if, in
the hurry of the moment, I had omitted to mention the ringlets and
sandals, it was an oversight on my part, for which I was very sorry; so
I told her that I would thank her to go up stairs again, and take that
finery off her back as quickly as she could, and never, as long as she
remained under my roof, to think of appearing before me in such a
disgraceful state again. When she went out that afternoon to church, the
girl had made herself look something decent, and was no longer dressed
out as showily as if she was the mistress instead of the maid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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