'I am no musician, and my opinion on music may not be worth much: yet
I know what I like (as everybody says, but I do not use the words as a
form to cover a hopeless blank on all connected with the subject), and
this sweet air I love. You must have glided like a breeze about
me--seen into a heart not worthy of scrutiny, jotted down words that
cannot justify attention--before you could have apotheosized the song
in so exquisite a manner. My gratitude took the form of wretchedness
when, on hearing the effect of the ballad in public this evening, I
thought that I had not power to withhold a reply which might do us
both more harm than good. Then I said, "Away with all emotion--I wish
the world was drained dry of it--I will take no notice," when a lady
whispered at my elbow to the effect that of course I had expressed my
gratification to you. I ought first to have mentioned that your
creation has been played to-night to full drawing-rooms, and the
original tones cooled the artificial air like a fountain almost.
'I prophesy great things of you. Perhaps, at the time when we are
each but a row of bones in our individual graves, your genius will be
remembered, while my mere cleverness will have been long forgotten.
'But--you must allow a woman of experience to say this--the undoubted
power that you possess will do you socially no good unless you mix
with it the ingredient of ambition--a quality in which I fear you are
very deficient. It is in the hope of stimulating you to a better
opinion of yourself that I write this letter.
'Probably I shall never meet you again. Not that I think
circumstances to be particularly powerful to prevent such a meeting,
rather it is that I shall energetically avoid it. There can be no
such thing as strong friendship between a man and a woman not of one
family.
'More than that there must not be, and this is why we will not meet.
You see that I do not mince matters at all; but it is hypocrisy to
avoid touching upon a subject which all men and women in our position
inevitably think of, no matter what they say. Some women might have
written distantly, and wept at the repression of their real feeling;
but it is better to be more frank, and keep a dry eye.--Yours,
ETHELBERTA.'
Her feet felt cold and her heart weak as she directed the letter, and she
was overpowered with weariness. But murmuring, 'If I let it stay till
the morning I shall not send it, and a man may be lost to fame because of
a woman's squeamishness--it shall go,' she partially dressed herself,
wrapped a large cloak around her, descended the stairs, and went out to
the pillar-box at the corner, leaving the door not quite close. No gust
of wind had realized her misgivings that it might be blown shut on her
return, and she re-entered as softly as she had emerged.
It will be seen that Ethelberta had said nothing about her family after
all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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