Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction
The pain in her eyes was more than James could bear; it was cruel to
make her suffer so much. He could not do it. He felt an intense pity,
and the idea came to him that there might be a middle way, which would
lessen the difficulty. He hesitated a moment, and then, looking down,
spoke in a low voice:
"I am anxious to do my duty, Mary. I have promised to marry you. I do
not wish to break my word. I don't ask you to release me. Will you take
what I can offer? I will be a good husband to you. I will do all I can
to make you happy. I can give you affection and confidence--friendship;
but I can't give you love. It is much better that I should tell you than
that you should find out painfully by yourself--perhaps when it is too
late."
"You came to ask me to release you. Why do you hesitate now? Do you
think I shall refuse?"
James was silent.
"You cannot think that I will accept a compromise. Do you suppose that
because I am a woman I am not made of flesh and blood? You said you
wished to be frank."
"I had not thought of the other way till just now."
"Do you imagine that it softens the blow? How could I live with you as
your wife, and yet not your wife? What are affection and esteem to me
without love? You must think me a very poor creature, James, when you
want to make me a sort of legal housekeeper."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would look upon it as an impertinence. I
didn't mean to say anything offensive. It struck me as a possible way
out of the difficulty. You would, at all events, be happier than you are
here."
"It is you who despise me now!"
"Mary!"
"I can bear pain. It's not the first humiliation I have suffered. It is
very simple, and there's no reason why we should make a fuss about it.
You thought you loved me, and you asked me to marry you. I don't know
whether you ever really loved me; you certainly don't now, and you wish
me to release you. You know that I cannot and will not refuse."
"I see no way out of it, Mary," he said, hoarsely. "I wish to God I did!
It's frightfully cruel to you."
"I can bear it. I don't blame you. It's not your fault. God will give me
strength." Mary thought of her mother's cruel sympathy. Her parents
would have to be told that James had cast her aside like a plaything he
was tired of. "God will give me strength."
"I'm so sorry, Mary," cried James, kneeling by her side. "You'll have to
suffer dreadfully; and I can't think how to make it any better for you."
"There is no way. We must tell them the whole truth, and let them say
what they will."
"Would you like me to go away from Primpton?"
"Why?"
"It might make it easier for you."
"Nothing can make it easier. I can face it out. And I don't want you to
run away and hide yourself as if you had done something to be ashamed
of. And your people want you. Oh, Jamie, you will be as gentle with them
as you can, won't you? I'm afraid it will--disappoint them very much."
"They had set their hearts upon our marriage."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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