"Do I?" Bauer did a thing Walter had never seen him do before. He got up
and began to walk the floor.
"If I didn't believe in a personal God who loves me and in a Personal
Redeemer who saves me and in a future life which is going to develop me,
I might as well be just an animal and be done with it. What advantage
have we over the animals if there is nothing to it but flesh and blood
and eating and drinking and dying?
"But I simply take my stand on what Jesus did and said and was. I don't
go back on that to try to philosophise much, though I can give answers
all day long for my religious faith. I wouldn't give anything for it if
I couldn't reason it out. I've been through all the books--Kant and
Hegle and Straus and Feuerbach and Schopenhauer and Schleiermacher and
no end. My father was steeped in all the old world philosophies. I don't
think they ever helped him any. At least not to make a better man of
him. Why, Walter, do you know your father and mother are the products of
Christian faith, and there isn't anything finer in all the world. Where
would you go to find a human being who was nearer the perfection of all
noble, unselfish, beautiful traits of character than your mother, who is
the product of a simple Christian faith?
"My father and mother have always sneered at simple faith. They are
sceptics. What has their scepticism ever done for them? To-day they are
both------" Bauer choked, and after a long pause, during which Walter
looked at him sympathetically, he said quietly:
"I had to have something different from their Godless scheme of life or
I believe I would have gone mad. And, thank the Father, I found it. If I
hadn't I'd been worse than the fastest of the fast set here. I wouldn't
have stopped short of the vilest. I would have been a crowned head of
beastliness. And nothing saved me from it but Jesus Christ. Could a man
have done that? Could anyone have done it who didn't believe in a future
and a spiritual life?"
Bauer came back to his chair and sat down. Walter seemed much impressed
by what he "said and the way he said it. At last he remarked
thoughtfully:
"You never told me anything of this before. I never understood you felt
so, or had such a faith."
"No, I've kept my light under a bushel. But man's religion is the most
sacred thing about him. Why don't we talk more about it? I don't know
unless with me it's been an excess of sensitiveness."
"I understand and thank you, Felix," said Walter after another long
silence.
During the days that followed he had many more talks with Bauer, all of
which did him vast good. Bauer, once he had opened the door of his soul,
threw away all reserve and invited Walter into the very holy of holies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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