She turned and walked away from him. She wanted to run, but would not
allow herself to run. She walked slowly, shoulders squared, head up
proudly. She did not hurry as she traversed the hall and ascended the
stairs, nor as she opened the door of her room. She entered, closed the
door gently--and locked it. Then she stood quite still, white and slender,
with a look on her face not good to see on the face of a young girl. Her
fists were clenched, her arms held tense and straight at her sides. There
was no tear or sign of tear in her eyes. She looked not like a living
flame now, but like a slender image of steel heated to whiteness.
"I hate him," she said, slowly, not passionately, but coldly, with
calculation. Then she repeated it, "I hate him.... I hate him."
She took off hat and wraps and let them fall to the floor, then walked
across the room to her dressing-table and looked at herself in its mirror.
She saw how pinched and white and strained she looked, and bit her lip....
On the dressing-table in a silver frame was a photograph, the photograph
of a woman still young. It was a strong face, a gentle face, a face that
in some vague way showed that the spirit within had not been satisfied or
happy. Hildegarde lifted it in her hands.
"You _married_ him," she said, in a whisper. "_Married_ him.... You lived
with him of your own accord--for years.... How could you? How _could_
you?"
Hildegarde did not know that she herself was the answer to that question.
Born within a year of her mother's marriage, she had tied her mother to
that home and to the man who was the father of the child. It had not taken
years to disillusion Marcia von Essen with respect to her husband; the
first trying hours of marital life had sufficed to show her the sort of
man to whom she had given herself, for he had shown her none of that
gentleness, that consideration, that tenderness that form so sure a
foundation for the coming years. More marriages are wrecked within
twenty-four hours of the ceremony than are wrecked in the succeeding
twenty-four years. Marcia von Essen's was one of these.... She might have
separated herself from him almost at the beginning of their marriage, but
time was not given her to catch her breath and form the resolution when
was forced upon her the knowledge that her thought must include a third
being. So she remained, and so, for Hildegarde's sake, she endured the
years. "How could you?" Hildegarde asked. The photograph might have
replied, "For you, my daughter."
Hildegarde put down her mother's picture and sat down on the rounding seat
in the bay window. Her posture was girlish, childish; back against the
wall, feet on the cushion, she drew her knees under her chin and stared
out at the snow-covered lawn, the wealth of shrubs swathed in white, down
the slope to the barren expanse of frozen lake. Her thoughts were
dangerous thoughts, and to a reckless, turbulent soul thoughts likely to
take material shape in rash action.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account