The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
After leaving the steamboat, they made their way to the Shanghae Hotel,
without loss of life or further limb. Each had his carpet-bag in his
hand, and having made a demonstration towards the hall-door, the
attendants came out to relieve them of their loads. Unused as they were
to a reception of this kind, their greeting was rather peculiar than
otherwise. Overdale put his hands on his pockets, and told _his_
gentleman to clear out. Wagstaff, with great presence of mind, knocked
_his_ down instanter. Dennis started to run, but finding his wooden leg
impeded his speed, sat flat down on the sidewalk and called for a
constable. Being eventually satisfied that the intentions of the
individuals were honorable, they went into the house and placed their
names on the register; Overdale, who did not understand this last
performance, expressing his surprise that they should be required to
sign a note for their board as soon as they came into the house. They
were shown to separate rooms, and each proceeded to make himself as
comfortable as his limited knowledge of the uses of the bedroom
furniture would admit, preparatory to making his appearance in the
dining-room. They were all shown this latter part of the establishment,
after they had visited, arm-in-arm, the barber's shop, the ladies'
parlor, and the hat-shop next door, in their vain search for something
to eat.
As they entered the room, and the head waiter approached, for the
purpose of showing them some seats, Overdale took his arm, and, having
marched the whole length of the room, was finally seated at one end of
the table, while his two companions were accommodated with chairs
immediately opposite. Their exploits at their first dinner in the city
were many--being all of them ignorant of napkins, and innocent of silver
forks, their performances with those unknown articles were something out
of the common order.
Having recovered from their first impression, that the bills of fare
were religious tracts, left for the spiritual improvement of the
boarders, by the Moral Reform Society, and having ascertained that they
were in some way connected with the science of gastronomy, they
proceeded to call for whatever they imagined would suit their palates.
Wagstaff began with tarts, then taking a fancy to a jelly, he reached
for them, and devoured them all, seventeen in number; and concluded his
dinner by eating a shad without picking out the bones.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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