The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
Overdale having got this lady to light his gas, was not able to get to
bed without doing something further extraordinary, so wishing to open
his window, he called a boy to his door twenty-seven times, by pulling
at the bell-rope, which he imagined to be connected, in some
inexplicable manner, with the sash. He was at last ready to go to sleep,
when he blew out his gas, and laid down on the carpet, covering himself
with the hearth-rug, fearing to get into the bed lest he should rumple
the sheets. He woke up subsequently, and yelled for a waiter. One
happened to be passing in the hall at that moment, and answered his
call. Overdale asked where the tavern-keeper was, as he wanted too see
him. He didn't want to be imposed upon, if he was from the country, and
considered it a huge imposition to put a man into a room which was right
over an asafoetida factory. The waiter comprehended the nature of Mr.
Overdale's difficulty, and explained to him the nature of carburetted
hydrogen, and the mistake that he had made in blowing out the light,
instead of turning off the gas. Mr. Overdale thanked the waiter for his
valuable information, and after waiting for the room to be well
ventilated, he retired to rest--this time, however, in the bed, the
waiter having kindly explained to him that the bed-clothing was nicely
adjusted for the express purpose of being rumpled up, in order to give
employment to a useful class of the community known as chambermaids.
In the morning, by one of those curious coincidences which we know do
happen, but for which we cannot account, our three rural friends found
themselves, at precisely eight o'clock, in the bar-room, before the bar,
and calling upon the major for something to drink. Each drank, after
which they went in to breakfast.
The bill of fare not being so complicated as the one on the dinner-table
the day previous, and being printed in good readable English, they had
no difficulty in procuring breakfast entirely to their satisfaction.
After arising, and supplying themselves with cigars, they started out on
an exploring expedition through the city.
Overdale, having read a good deal about the various "lions" of the town,
assumed to know all about it, and therefore Dennis and Wagstaff
acquiesced in his taking the lead; Wagstaff taking notes of everything
for the benefit of his children when he returned home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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