English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
THE COSTUMES ARE, IF POSSIBLE, OF THE SAME PERIOD.
Mistress Dorothy Farthingale IS SEATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE,
READING A LETTER AND OCCASIONALLY SIGHING.
ENTER My Lord Carey.
CAREY. Mistress Dorothy alone! Truly Fortune smiles upon me.
DOROTHY (HIDING THE LETTER QUICKLY). An she smiles, my lord, I needs
must frown.
CAREY (USED TO THIS SORT OF THING AND NO LONGER PUT OFF BY IT). Nay,
give me but one smile, sweet mistress. (SHE SIGHS HEAVILY.) You
sigh! Is't for me?
DOROTHY (FEELING THAT THE SOONER HE AND THE AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THE
SITUATION THE BETTER). I sigh for another, my lord, who is absent.
CAREY (ANNOYED). Zounds, and zounds again!
A pest upon the fellow! (He strides up and down the room, keeping
out of the way of his sword as much as possible.) Would that I might
pink the pesky knave!
DOROTHY (turning upon him a look of hate). Would that you might have
the chance, my lord, so it were in fair fighting. Methinks Roger's
sword-arm will not have lost its cunning in the wars.
CAREY. A traitor to fight against his King!
DOROTHY. He fights for what he thinks is right. (She takes out his
letter and kisses it.)
CAREY (observing the action). You have a letter from him!
DOROTHY (hastily concealing it, and turning pale). How know you
that?
CAREY. Give it to me! (She shrieks and rises.) By heavens, madam, I
will have it! [He struggles with her and seizes it.
Enter Sir Thomas.
SIR THOMAS. Odds life, my lord, what means this?
CAREY (straightening himself). It means, Sir Thomas, that you
harbour a rebel within your walls. Master Roger Dale, traitor,
corresponds secretly with your daughter. [Who, I forgot to say, has
swooned.
SIR THOMAS (sternly). Give me the letter. Ay, 'tis Roger's hand, I
know it well. (He reads the letter, which is full of thoughtful
metaphors about love, aloud to the audience. Suddenly his eyebrows
go up and down to express surprise. He seizes Lord Carey by the
arm.) Ha! Listen! "To-morrow, when the sun is upon the western
window of the gallery, I will be with thee." The villain!
CAREY (who does not know the house very well). When is that?
SIR THOMAS. Why,'tis now, for I have but recently passed through the
gallery and did mark the sun.
CAREY (FIERCELY). In the name of the King, Sir Thomas, I call upon
you to arrest this traitor.
SIR THOMAS (sighing). I loved the boy well, yet--[He shrugs his
shoulders expressively and goes out with Lord Carey to collect
sufficient force for the arrest.
Enter Roger by a secret door, R.
ROGER. My love!
DOROTHY (opening her eyes). Roger!
ROGER. At last!
[For the moment they talk in short sentences like this. Then DOROTHY
puts her hand to her brow as if she is remembering something
horrible.
DOROTHY. Roger! Now I remember! It is not safe for you to stay!
ROGER (very brave). Am I a puling child to be afraid?
DOROTHY. My Lord Carey is here. He has read your letter.
ROGER. The black-livered dog! Would I had him at my sword's point to
teach him manners.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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