London (England) -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"I believe you are. My dear, when I was your age, like you I was full
of regrets for all the wrongs of the world. I wanted it perfect and
morally rigid. I meant to show that an actress could still be a lady
and quite virtuous. I don’t think I’ve disproved the one, but the Fates
have been too strong for me to fulfill the second qualification. I had
to separate from my husband. I did not want to. I loved him. I have
nothing to reproach myself with for the rupture between us. But for that
I should always have been a faithful wife. I only thought of his
career. I used to fight all his battles, on and off the stage. At one
time I did all his business for him because he hated it. In those days
he wasn’t spoilt. He was just a fascinating, childish person with all
the sensitiveness of an artistic temperament. He was very fond of me,
too.... Then came the time when he went into management, and there was
no part for me. I was not to play "lead" with him because he considered
me unsuited to it. I was too proud to play a smaller part in his own
theater.... He engaged Mary Mantel. In that play their love-making
brought down the house. It was so real. It _was_ real. I found that
out very soon. Mary Mantel deliberately took my husband from me. He
was too weak to resist her—to resist pleasing any pretty woman.... I
told them both what I knew ... and we parted. If I hadn’t discovered
what I did, or suppressed my knowledge of it, I don’t doubt but that he
would be with me now, behaving as a lover to two women! ... For years
Lord Chalfont went about with me. We were friends, nothing more. I
always hoped Hugh would make atonement and want me back. But I lost
heart, and Chalfont was always there, so patient and kind.... As a
Catholic I couldn’t bring myself to divorce Hugh and marry him, and I
thought that if he should ever get tired of me I should like him to feel
free.... Because I am an actress, to whom all things are forgiven, the
voice of social ostracism had never been raised against our union....
That is the whole story. Well, what do you think of me now?"
Alexandra did not know what to think, still less to say. The only
comment she felt capable of making was that Mrs. Lambert was not
degraded by what she had done. That was evident. Alexandra did not make
the comparison, but all the same she dimly comprehended that there was a
certain similarity between Maggy’s case and Mrs. Lambert’s. It had
never occurred to Alexandra that Maggy was degraded either.... Quite
suddenly, like a revelation, the reason of the sympathy between these
two, now her closest friends, dawned on her.... Insensibly too, because
she was not thinking of herself, her own resistance to frailty seemed to
weaken. There was to come a time when she would recall every word Maggy
and Mrs. Lambert had spoken on the subject of sex conflict and the
stage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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