Biographical fiction; Christian fiction; Christian saints -- Fiction; More, Thomas, Saint, 1478-1535 -- Fiction
Then I turned to the greate Intercessor of alle. But methought, "Still
he intercedes with another, although the same. And his owne Saying
was, 'In that Day ye shall ask _me nothing_. Whatsoever ye shall ask in
my Name, _he_ will give it you.'" Soe I did.
I fancy I fell asleep with the Tears on my Cheek. _Will_ had not come
up Stairs. Then came a heavie, heavie Sleep, not such as giveth Rest;
and a dark, wild Dream. Methought I was tired of waiting for _Will_,
and became alarmed. The Night seemed a Month long, and at last I grew
soe weary of it, that I arose, put on some Clothing, and went in search
of him whom my Soul loveth. Soon I founde him, sitting in a Muse; and
said, "_Will_, deare _Will_?" but he hearde me not; and, going up to
touch him, I was amazed to be broughte short up or ever I reached him,
by Something invisible betwixt us, hard, and cleare, and colde, ... in
short, a Wall of Ice! Soe it seemed, in my strange Dreame. I pushed at
it, but could not move it; called to him, but coulde not make him hear:
and all the While my Breath, I suppose, raised a Vapour on the glassy
Substance, that grew thicker and thicker, soe as slowlie to hide him
from me. I coulde discerne his Head and Shoulders, but not see down to
his Heart. Then I shut mine Eyes in Despair, and when I opened 'em, he
was hidden altogether.
Then I prayed. I put my hot Brow agaynst the Ice, and I kept a
weeping hot Tears, and the warm Breath of Prayer kept issuing from
my Lips; and still I was persisting, when, or ever I knew how, the
Ice beganne to melt! I felt it giving Way! and, looking up, coulde
in joyfulle Surprize just discerne the Lineaments of a Figure close
at t'other Side; the Face turned away, but yet in the Guise of
listening. And, Images being apt to seem magnified and distorted
through Vapours, methought 'twas altogether bigger than _Will_, yet
himself, nothingthelesse; and, the Barrier between us having sunk away
to Breast-height, I layd mine Hand on's Shoulder, and he turned his
Head, smiling, though in Silence; and ... oh, Heaven! 'twas not _Will_,
but----.
What coulde I doe, even in my Dreame, but fall at his Feet? What coulde
I doe, waking, but the same? 'Twas Grey of Morn; I was feverish and
unrefreshed, but I wanted noe more lying a-bed. _Will_ had arisen and
gone forthe; and I, as quicklie as I coulde make myself readie, sped
after him.
I know not what I expected, nor what I meant to say. The Moment I
opened the Door of his Closett, I stopt short. There he stoode, in
the Centre of the Chamber; his Hand resting flat on an open Book,
his Head raised somewhat up, his Eyes fixed on Something or some One,
as though in speaking Communion with 'em; his whole Visage lightened
up and glorifide with an unspeakable Calm and Grandeur that seemed
to transfigure him before me; and, when he hearde my Step, he turned
about, and 'steade of histing me away, helde out his Arms.... We parted
without neede to utter a Word.
_June, 1530._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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