The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
But there, the clever people are such a very insignificant minority
that it really doesn't much matter if they are unhappy. So long as the
foolish people can be made comfortable the world, as a whole, will get
on tolerably well.
Cats have the credit of being more worldly wise than dogs--of looking
more after their own interests and being less blindly devoted to those
of their friends. And we men and women are naturally shocked at such
selfishness. Cats certainly do love a family that has a carpet in the
kitchen more than a family that has not; and if there are many children
about, they prefer to spend their leisure time next door. But, taken
altogether, cats are libeled. Make a friend of one, and she will stick
to you through thick and thin. All the cats that I have had have been
most firm comrades. I had a cat once that used to follow me about
everywhere, until it even got quite embarrassing, and I had to beg
her, as a personal favor, not to accompany me any further down the High
Street. She used to sit up for me when I was late home and meet me in
the passage. It made me feel quite like a married man, except that she
never asked where I had been and then didn't believe me when I told her.
Another cat I had used to get drunk regularly every day. She would hang
about for hours outside the cellar door for the purpose of sneaking
in on the first opportunity and lapping up the drippings from the
beer-cask. I do not mention this habit of hers in praise of the
species, but merely to show how almost human some of them are. If the
transmigration of souls is a fact, this animal was certainly qualifying
most rapidly for a Christian, for her vanity was only second to her love
of drink. Whenever she caught a particularly big rat, she would bring it
up into the room where we were all sitting, lay the corpse down in the
midst of us, and wait to be praised. Lord! how the girls used to scream.
Poor rats! They seem only to exist so that cats and dogs may gain credit
for killing them and chemists make a fortune by inventing specialties
in poison for their destruction. And yet there is something fascinating
about them. There is a weirdness and uncanniness attaching to them. They
are so cunning and strong, so terrible in their numbers, so cruel, so
secret. They swarm in deserted houses, where the broken casements hang
rotting to the crumbling walls and the doors swing creaking on their
rusty hinges. They know the sinking ship and leave her, no one knows how
or whither. They whisper to each other in their hiding-places how a
doom will fall upon the hall and the great name die forgotten. They do
fearful deeds in ghastly charnel-houses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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