The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
I get thinking sometimes if the Pied Piper is really dead, or if he may
not still be roaming up and down our streets and lanes, but playing now
so softly that only the children hear him. Why do the little faces look
so grave and solemn when they pause awhile from romping, and stand, deep
wrapt, with straining eyes? They only shake their curly heads and dart
back laughing to their playmates when we question them. But I fancy
myself they have been listening to the magic music of the old Pied
Piper, and perhaps with those bright eyes of theirs have even seen his
odd, fantastic figure gliding unnoticed through the whirl and throng.
Even we grown-up children hear his piping now and then. But the yearning
notes are very far away, and the noisy, blustering world is always
bellowing so loud it drowns the dreamlike melody. One day the sweet, sad
strains will sound out full and clear, and then we too shall, like the
little children, throw our playthings all aside and follow. The loving
hands will be stretched out to stay us, and the voices we have learned
to listen for will cry to us to stop. But we shall push the fond arms
gently back and pass out through the sorrowing house and through the
open door. For the wild, strange music will be ringing in our hearts,
and we shall know the meaning of its song by then.
I wish people could love animals without getting maudlin over them, as
so many do. Women are the most hardened offenders in such respects, but
even our intellectual sex often degrade pets into nuisances by absurd
idolatry. There are the gushing young ladies who, having read "David
Copperfield," have thereupon sought out a small, longhaired dog of
nondescript breed, possessed of an irritating habit of criticising
a man's trousers, and of finally commenting upon the same by a sniff
indicative of contempt and disgust. They talk sweet girlish prattle to
this animal (when there is any one near enough to overhear them), and
they kiss its nose, and put its unwashed head up against their cheek in
a most touching manner; though I have noticed that these caresses are
principally performed when there are young men hanging about.
Then there are the old ladies who worship a fat poodle, scant of breath
and full of fleas. I knew a couple of elderly spinsters once who had
a sort of German sausage on legs which they called a dog between them.
They used to wash its face with warm water every morning. It had a
mutton cutlet regularly for breakfast; and on Sundays, when one of the
ladies went to church, the other always stopped at home to keep the dog
company.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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