The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
The disease can be cured. For the comfort of the shy, I can assure them
of that from personal experience. I do not like speaking about myself,
as may have been noticed, but in the cause of humanity I on this
occasion will do so, and will confess that at one time I was, as the
young man in the Bab Ballad says, "the shyest of the shy," and "whenever
I was introduced to any pretty maid, my knees they knocked together just
as if I was afraid." Now, I would--nay, have--on this very day
before yesterday I did the deed. Alone and entirely by myself (as the
school-boy said in translating the "Bellum Gallicum") did I beard a
railway refreshment-room young lady in her own lair. I rebuked her in
terms of mingled bitterness and sorrow for her callousness and want of
condescension. I insisted, courteously but firmly, on being accorded
that deference and attention that was the right of the traveling Briton,
and at the end I looked her full in the face. Need I say more?
True, immediately after doing so I left the room with what may
possibly have appeared to be precipitation and without waiting for any
refreshment. But that was because I had changed my mind, not because I
was frightened, you understand.
One consolation that shy folk can take unto themselves is that shyness
is certainly no sign of stupidity. It is easy enough for bull-headed
clowns to sneer at nerves, but the highest natures are not necessarily
those containing the greatest amount of moral brass. The horse is not an
inferior animal to the cock-sparrow, nor the deer of the forest to the
pig. Shyness simply means extreme sensibility, and has nothing whatever
to do with self-consciousness or with conceit, though its relationship
to both is continually insisted upon by the poll-parrot school of
philosophy.
Conceit, indeed, is the quickest cure for it. When it once begins to
dawn upon you that you are a good deal cleverer than any one else in
this world, bashfulness becomes shocked and leaves you. When you can
look round a roomful of people and think that each one is a mere child
in intellect compared with yourself you feel no more shy of them than
you would of a select company of magpies or orang-outangs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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