The whole history of his three experiments unfolded itself before him.
What, after them all, had he gained? What, save the knowledge of the
littleness of the motives controlling those lives? This actor, this man
the world thought great, whose soul he had held in usurpation, up to a
little while ago, what was he? A very batch of vanities, a mountain of
egoisms. Had there been, in any of the thoughts, the moods he had
experienced from out the mental repertoire of that player, anything
indicative of nobility, of large benevolence, of sweet and light in the
finest human sense? Nothing, nothing. The ambition to imitate the
obvious points of human action and conduct, to the end that one be
called a character-actor; the striving for an echoed fame rightly
belonging to the supreme names of history; a yearning for the stimulus
of immediate acclamation--these things were not worth gaining. To have
experienced them was to have caught nothing beneficial.
Orson Vane began to consider himself with contempt. Upon himself must
fall the odium of what the souls he had borrowed had induced in him. The
littleness he had fathomed, the depths of character to which he had
sunk, all left their petty brands on him. He had penetrated the barriers
of other men's minds, but what had it profited him? As a ship becalmed
in foul waters takes on barnacles, so had he brought forth, from the
realm of alien springs and motives he had made his own, a dreadful
incrustation of painful conjectures on the supremacy of evil in the
world.
It needed only a glance at the man, Nevins, to force home the
destructiveness born of these incursions into other lives. That
trembling, cowering thing had been, before Orson Vane's departure from
the limitations of his own temperament, a decent, self-respecting
fellow. While now--
Vane paced about the house in bitter unrest. In the outer hall he
noticed the yellow envelopes bordering the coat-rack. He took one of
them down, opened it, and smiled. "Poor Nevins!" he murmured. The next
moment a lad from the Telegraph office appeared in the doorway. Vane
went forward himself; there was no use disturbing Nevins.
The wire had followed him on from the _Beaurivage_, or rather from the
man to whom he had sold her. It was from Augustus Vanlief. Its brevity
was like a blow in the face.
"Am ill," it said, "must see you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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