"Ah, yes," she answered, "brothers so often are." She sighed, apropos
of nothing. She continued to utter disjointed sentences from which I
gathered a skeleton history of my _soi distant_ sister's introduction of
herself and of her pretensions. She had, it seemed, casually introduced
herself at some garden-party or function of the sort, had represented
herself as a sister of my own to whom a maternal uncle had left a
fabulous fortune. She herself had suggested her being sheltered under my
aunt's roof as a singularly welcome "paying guest." She herself, too,
had suggested the visit to Paris and had hired the house from a
degenerate Duc de Luynes who preferred the delights of an _appartement_
in the less lugubrious Avenue Marceau.
"We have tastes so much in common," my aunt explained, as she moved away
to welcome a new arrival. I was left alone with the woman who called
herself my sister.
We stood a little apart. Each little group of talkers in the vast room
seemed to stand just without earshot of the next. I had my back to the
door, my face to her.
"And so you have come," she said, maliciously it seemed to me.
It was impossible to speak in _such_ a position; in such a place;
impossible to hold a discussion on family affairs when a diminutive
Irishwoman with too mobile eyebrows, and a couple of gigantic,
raw-boned, lugubrious Spaniards, were in a position to hear anything
that one uttered above a whisper. One might want to raise one's voice.
Besides, she was so--so terrible; there was no knowing what she might
not say. She so obviously did not care what the Irish or the Spaniards
or the Jesuits heard or thought, that I was forced to the mortifying
conclusion that I did.
"Oh, I've come," I answered. I felt as outrageously out of it as one
does at a suburban hop where one does not know one animal of the
menagerie. I did not know what to do or what to say, or what to do with
my hands. I was pervaded by the unpleasant idea that all those furtive
eyes were upon me; gauging me because I was the brother of a
personality. I was concerned about the fit of my coat and my boots, and
all the while I was in a furious temper; my errand was important.
She stood looking at me, a sinuous, brilliant thing, with a light in the
eyes half challenging, half openly victorious.
"You have come," she said, "and ..."
I became singularly afraid of her; and wanted to stop her mouth. She
might be going to say anything. She overpowered me so that I actually
dwindled--into the gawkiness of extreme youth. I became a goggle-eyed,
splay-footed boy again and made a boy's desperate effort after a
recovery at one stroke of an ideal standard of dignity.
"I must have a word with you," I said, remembering. She made a little
gesture with her hands, signifying "I am here." "But in private," I
added.
"Oh, everything's in private here," she said. I was silent.
"I must," I added after a time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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