Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
Trix wanted to feel horrified at his conduct--at its brutality, its
licence, its absolute ignoring of all the canons of decent conduct. Look
at him, as he stood there reading her letter, jeering at it in a
rancorous scorn and a derision charged with hatred! She could not
concentrate her indignation on her own wrong. Suddenly she saw his
too--his and Fricker's. She was outraged; but the outrage persisted in
having a flavour of deserved punishment. It was brutal; was it unjust?
On that question she stuck fast as she looked up and saw him reading her
letter. The next instant he tore it across and flung it into the grate
behind him.
'You'll do as he wishes!' he sneered. 'He knows you will! Yes, he knows
you're for sale, I suppose, just as I know it, and as Fricker knows it.
He can bid higher, eh? Well, I hope he'll get delivery of the goods he
buys. We haven't.'
He buttoned his frock-coat and looked round for his hat.
'Well, I've got a lot to do. I must go,' he said, with a curious
unconscious return to the ordinary tone and manner of society.
'Good-bye!'
'Good-bye, Mr. Chance,' said Trix, stretching out her hand towards the
bell.
'I'll let myself out,' he interposed hastily.
Trix rose slowly to her feet; she was rather pale and had some trouble
to keep her lips from twitching. Speak she could not; her brain would do
nothing but repeat his words; it would not denounce him for them, nor
impugn their truth; it would only repeat them. Whether they were just or
not was a question that seemed to fall into the background; it was
enough that anybody should be able to use them, and find her without a
reply.
Yet when he was gone her feeling was one of great relief. The thing had
been as bad as it could be, but it was done. It was over and finished.
The worst had come--was known, measured, and endured. At that price she
was free. She was degraded, bruised, beaten, but free. Chastened enough
to perceive the truths with which Beaufort Chance had assailed her so
unsparingly, she was not so changed in heart but that she still rejoiced
to think that the object towards which she worked, in whose interest she
had exposed herself to such a lashing, was still possible, really
unprejudiced, in fact hers if she would have it. The letter was gone;
but the promise of the letter lived.
Suddenly another thing occurred to her. What about Dramoffskys? What
about her precious money? There she was, in the hands of these men whom
she had flouted and enraged, so ignorant that she could do nothing for
herself, absolutely at their mercy. What would they do? Would they wash
their hands of her?
'Well, if they do--and I suppose they will--I must sell everything
directly, even if I lose by it,' she thought. 'That's the only thing,
and I sha'n't be quite ruined, I hope.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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