A MATHEMATICIAN being asked by a wag, "If a pig weighs 200 pounds, how much will a great boar (_bore_?) weigh?" he replied, "Jump into the scales, and I will _tell you immediately_." CCCXX.--CATCHING HIM UP. AN Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, "I am eldest," said he, "but if my brother lives three years longer, we shall be _both_ of an age." CCCXXI.--A STOPPER. A GENTLEMAN describing a person who often visited him for the sole purpose of having a long gossip, called him Mr. Jones the _stay_-maker. CCCXXII.--A BOOK CASE. THERE is a celebrated reply of Mr. Curran to a remark of Lord Clare, who curtly exclaimed at one of his legal positions, "O! if that be law, Mr. Curran, I may burn my law-books!"--"Better _read_ them, my lord," was the sarcastic and appropriate rejoinder. CCCXXIII.--HINC ILLE LACHRYMAE. "THE mortality among Byron's mistresses," said the late Lady A----ll, "is really alarming. I think he generally buries, in verse, a first love every fortnight."--"Madam," replied Curran, "mistresses are not so mortal. The fact is, my lord weeps for the _press_, and wipes his eyes with _the public_." CCCXXIV.--REASON FOR GOING TO CHURCH. IT was observed of an old citizen that he was the most regular man in London in his attendance at church, and no man in the kingdom was more punctual in his prayers. "He has a very good reason for it," replied John Wilkes, "for, as he never gave a shilling, did a kindness, or conferred a favor on any man living, _no one would pray for him_." CCCXXV.--A BISHOP AND CHURCHWARDEN. BISHOP WARBURTON, going to Cirencester to confirm, he was supplied at the altar with an elbow-chair and a cushion, which he did not much like, and calling to the churchwarden said, "I suppose, sir, your fattest butcher has sat in this chair, and your most violent Methodist preacher thumped the cushion." CCCXXVI.--STONE BLIND. LORD BYRON'S valet (Mr. Fletcher) grievously excited his master's ire by observing, while Byron was examining the remains of Athens, "La me, my lord, what capital _mantelpieces_ that marble would make in England!" CCCXXVII.--AGREEABLE AND NOT COMPLIMENTARY. IN King William's time a Mr. Tredenham was taken before the Earl of Nottingham on suspicion of having treasonable papers in his possession. "I am only a poet," said the captive, "and those papers are my roughly-sketched play." The Earl examined the papers, however, and then returned them, saying, "I have heard your statement and read your play, and as I can find _no trace_ of _a plot_ in either, you may go free." CCCXXVIII.--DR. JOHNSON WITHOUT VARIATION.