A NOTORIOUS egotist, indirectly praising himself for a number of good qualities which it was well known he had not, asked Macklin the reason why he should have this propensity of interfering in the good of others when he frequently met with very unsuitable returns. "The cause is plain enough," said Macklin; "_impudence_,--nothing but stark-staring impudence!" CCCXXXV.--A "COLD" COMPLIMENT. A COXCOMB, teasing Dr. Parr with an account of his petty ailments, complained that he could never go out without catching cold in his head. "No wonder," returned the doctor; "you always go out without _anything_ in it." CCCXXXVI.--READY REPLY. THE grass-plots in the college courts or quadrangles are not for the unhallowed feet of the under-graduates. Some, however, are hardy enough to venture, in despite of all remonstrance. A master of Trinity had often observed a student of his college invariably to cross the green, when, in obedience to the calls of his appetite, he went to hall to dine. One day the master determined to reprove the delinquent for invading the rights of his superiors, and for that purpose he threw up the sash at which he was sitting, and called to the student,--"Sir, I never look out of my window but I see you walking across the grass-plot". "My lord," replied the offender instantly, "I never walk across the grass-plot, but I _see you_ looking out of your window." The master, pleased at the readiness of the reply, closed his window, convulsed with laughter. CCCXXXVII.--FULL PROOF. LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be roughly treated, said,--"Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In the first place, I have only _five guineas_ in my pocket; and in the second, they are heartily at your service." He got out of their hands with loud huzzas and acclamations. CCCXXXVIII.--EPIGRAM ON CIBBER. IN merry Old England it once was the rule, The king had his poet and also his fool; But now we're so frugal, I'd have you to know it, That Cibber can serve both for _fool_ and for _poet_. CCCXXXIX.--A PROPHECY. CHARLES MATHEWS, the elder, being asked what he was going to do with his son (the young man's profession was to be that of an architect), "Why," answered the comedian, "he is going to _draw houses_, like his father." CCCXL.--A FIXTURE. DR. ROGER LONG, the celebrated astronomer, was walking, one dark evening, with a gentleman in Cambridge, when the latter came to a short post fixed in the pavement, but which, in the earnestness of conversation, taking to be a boy standing in the path, he said hastily, "Get out of the way, boy."--"That boy," said the doctor, very seriously, "is a _post-boy_, who never turns out of the way for anybody." CCCXLI.--FAMILY PRIDE.