CCCXLIX.--HALF-WAY. A HORSEMAN crossing a moor, asked a countryman, if it was safe riding. "Ay," answered the countryman, "it is hard enough at the _bottom_, I'll warrant you;" but in half-a-dozen steps the horse sunk up to the girths. "You story-telling rascal, you said it was hard at the bottom!"--"Ay," replied the other, "but you are not _half-way_ to the bottom yet." CCCL.--SELF-KNOWLEDGE. "----," said one of his eulogists, "always knows his own mind." We will cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he _knows nothing_. CCCLI.--TWO OF A TRADE. WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, "Why," said Charles, "he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be _robbing_ Harris (the manager) the next." CCCLII.--A STRAY SHOT. AN officer, in battle, happening to _bow_, a cannon-ball passed over his head, and took off that of the soldier who stood behind him. "You see," said he, "that a man never loses by politeness." CCCLIII.--MILESIAN ADVICE. "NEVER be critical upon the ladies," was the maxim of an old Irish peer, remarkable for his homage to the sex; "the only way in the world that a true gentleman ever will attempt to look at the faults of a pretty woman, is _to shut his eyes_." CCCLIV.--MR. ABERNETHY. A LADY who went to consult Mr. Abernethy, began describing her complaint, which is what he very much disliked. Among other things she said, "Whenever I lift my arm, it pains me exceedingly."--"Why then, ma'am," answered Mr. A., "you area great fool for _doing so_." CCCLV.--THE DEBT PAID. To John I owed great obligation, But John, unhappily, thought fit To publish it to all the nation; Sure John and I are more than quit. CCCLVI.--EXTREMES MEET. A CLEVER literary friend of Jerrold, and one who could take a joke, told him he had just had "some calf's-tail soup."--"Extremes meet sometimes," said Jerrold. CCCLVII.--A COMPLIMENT ILL-RECEIVED. A PERSON who dined in company with Dr. Johnson endeavored to make his court to him by laughing immoderately at everything he said. The doctor bore it for some time with philosophical indifference; but the impertinent _ha, ha, ha!_ becoming intolerable, "Pray, sir," said the doctor, "what is the matter? I hope I have not said anything that _you_ can comprehend." CCCLVIII.--TRUTH NOT TO BE SPOKEN AT ALL TIMES. GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, "They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you to write an address to the Birmingham audience."--"Suppose, then," said Garrick, without the least hesitation, "I begin thus:-- Ye sons of iron, copper, brass, and steel, Who have not heads to think, nor hearts to feel--"