got out into the park to day—Sheba there on Horseback; pass’d twice by her without knowing her—she stop’d the 3^d. time—to ask me how I did—I w^d. not have askd you, Solomon! said She, but y^r. Looks affected me—for you’re half dead I fear—I thank’d Sheba very kindly, but w^{th}out any emotion but what sprung from gratitude—Love alas! was fled with thee Eliza!—I did not think Sheba could have changed so much in grace & beauty—Thou hadst shrunk poor Sheba away into Nothing, but a good natured girl, without powers or charms—I _fear_ your wife is dead; quoth Sheba—no, you don’t _fear_ it Sheba said I—Upon my word Solomon! I would quarrel with You, was you not so ill—If you knew the cause of my Illness, Sheba, replied I, you w^d. quarrel but the more with me—You lie, Solomon! answerd Sheba, for I know the Cause already—& am so little out of Charity with You upon it—That I give you leave to come & drink Tea with me before you leave Town—you’re a good honest Creature Sheba—no! you Rascal, I am not—but I’m in Love, as much as you can be for y^r. Life—I’m glad of it Sheba! said I—You Lie, said Sheba, & so canter’d away.—O my Eliza, had I ever truely loved another (w^{ch}. I never did) Thou hast long ago, cut the Root of all Affection in me—& planted & waterd & nourish’d it, to bear fruit only for thyself—Continue to give me proofs I have had and shall preserve the same rights over thee my Eliza! and if I ever murmur at the sufferings of Life after that, Let me be numbered with the ungrateful.—I look now forwards with Impatience for the day thou art to get to Madras—& from thence shall I want to hasten thee to Bombay—where heaven will make all things Conspire to lay the Basis of thy health & future happiness—be true my dear girl, to thy self—& the rights of Self preservation which Nature has given thee—persevere—be firm—be pliant—be placid—be courteous—but still be true to thy self—& never give up y^r. Life,—or suffer the disquieting altercations, or small outrages you may undergo in this momentous point, to weigh a Scruple in the Ballance—Firmness—& fortitude & perseverance gain almost impossibilities—& _Skin_ for _Skin_, saith Job, _nay all that a Man has, will he give_ for his Life—oh my Eliza! That I could take the Wings of the Morning, & fly to aid thee in _this_ virtuous Struggle. went to Ranelagh at 8 this night, and sat still till ten—came home ill. * * * * * May 2^d.