The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and FantasiesZangwill, Israel
General
The King of Schnorrers: Grotesques and Fantasies
Zangwill, Israel
Humorous stories; Jewish fiction; Jews -- England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
"Who vows--_cinco livras_"--he went on glibly without a pause--"for
charity--for the life of Yankov ben Yitzchok, his son-in-law, &c.,
&c." But few of the worshippers heard any more than the _cinco livras_
(five pounds). A thrill ran through the building. Men pricked up their
ears, incredulous, whispering one another. One man deliberately moved
from his place towards the box in which sat the Chief of the Elders,
the presiding dignitary in the absence of the President of the
Mahamad.
"I didn't catch--how much was that?" he asked.
[Illustration: "'I DIDN'T CATCH.'"]
"Five pounds," said the Chief of the Elders shortly. He suspected an
irreverent irony in the Beggar's contribution.
The Benediction came to an end, but ere the hearers had time to
realise the fact, the Master Reader had started on another. "May He
who blessed our fathers!" he began, in the strange traditional
recitative. The wave of curiosity mounted again, higher than before.
"Who vows--"
The wave hung an instant, poised and motionless.
"_Cinco livras!_"
The wave broke in a low murmur, amid which the Master imperturbably
proceeded, "For oil--for the life of his daughter Deborah, &c." When
he reached the end there was a poignant silence.
Was it to be _da capo_ again?
"May He who blessed our fathers!"
The wave of curiosity surged once more, rising and subsiding with this
ebb and flow of financial Benediction.
"Who vows--_cinco livras_--for the wax candles."
This time the thrill, the whisper, the flutter, swelled into a
positive buzz. The gaze of the entire congregation was focussed upon
the Beggar, who stood impassive in the blaze of glory. Even the orphan
boys, packed in their pew, paused in their inattention to the Service,
and craned their necks towards the platform. The veriest magnates did
not thus play piety with five pound points. In the ladies' gallery the
excitement was intense. The occupants gazed eagerly through the
grille. One woman--a buxom dame of forty summers, richly clad and
jewelled--had risen, and was tiptoeing frantically over the woodwork,
her feather waving like a signal of distress. It was Manasseh's wife.
The waste of money maddened her, each donation hit her like a poisoned
arrow; in vain she strove to catch her spouse's eye. The air seemed
full of gowns and toques and farthingales flaming away under her very
nose, without her being able to move hand or foot in rescue; whole
wardrobes perished at each Benediction. It was with the utmost
difficulty she restrained herself from shouting down to her prodigal
lord. At her side the radiant Deborah vainly tried to pacify her by
assurances that Manasseh never intended to pay up.
[Illustration: "SHE STROVE TO CATCH HER SPOUSE'S EYE."]
"Who vows--" The Benediction had begun for a fourth time.
"_Cinco livras_ for the Holy Land." And the sensation grew. "For the
life of this holy congregation, &c."
The Master Reader's voice droned on impassively, interminably.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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