The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire CollectionJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
The Lady of the Barge and Others, Entire Collection
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“You drugged the hag, good Gunn,” he continued. “To-morrow morning,
Gunn, they will find you in your room dead, and if one of the scum you
brought into my house be charged with the murder, so much the better.
When I am well they will go. I am already feeling a little bit
stronger, Gunn, as you see, and in a month I hope to be about again.”
He averted his face, and for a time gazed sternly and watchfully at the
door. Then he rose slowly to his feet, and taking the dead man in his
arms, bore him slowly and carefully to his room, and laid him a huddled
heap on the floor. Swiftly and noiselessly he put the dead man’s shoes
on and turned his pockets inside out, kicked a rug out of place, and
put a guinea on the floor. Then he stole cautiously down stairs and set
a small door at the back open. A dog barked frantically, and he hurried
back to his room. The nurse still slumbered by the fire.
She awoke in the morning shivering with the cold, and being jealous of
her reputation, rekindled the fire, and measuring out the dose which
the invalid should have taken, threw it away. On these unconscious
preparations for an alibi Captain Rogers gazed through half-closed
lids, and then turning his grim face to the wall, waited for the
inevitable alarm.
A TIGER’S SKIN
The travelling sign-painter who was repainting the sign of the
“Cauliflower” was enjoying a well-earned respite from his labours. On
the old table under the shade of the elms mammoth sandwiches and a
large slice of cheese waited in an untied handkerchief until such time
as his thirst should be satisfied. At the other side of the table the
oldest man in Claybury, drawing gently at a long clay pipe, turned a
dim and regretful eye up at the old signboard.
“I’ve drunk my beer under it for pretty near seventy years,” he said,
with a sigh. “It’s a pity it couldn’t ha’ lasted my time.”
The painter, slowly pushing a wedge of sandwich into his mouth,
regarded him indulgently.
“It’s all through two young gentlemen as was passing through ’ere a
month or two ago,” continued the old man; “they told Smith, the
landlord, they’d been looking all over the place for the ‘Cauliflower,’
and when Smith showed ’em the sign they said they thought it was the
‘George the Fourth,’ and a very good likeness, too.”
The painter laughed and took another look at the old sign; then, with
the nervousness of the true artist, he took a look at his own. One or
two shadows—
He flung his legs over the bench and took up his brushes. In ten
minutes the most fervent loyalist would have looked in vain for any
resemblance, and with a sigh at the pitfalls which beset the artist he
returned to his interrupted meal and hailed the house for more beer.
“There’s nobody could mistake your sign for anything but a
cauliflower,” said the old man; “it looks good enough to eat.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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