Anna Erivan had arisen. She moved about her work in the house,
accepting the fresh ordeal, as one accustomed to darkness and
difficulty. Romney, in the afternoon, saw the sudden triumph of her
will after hours of utter prostration, an almost irresistible force of
spirit. Bamban had done all that mortal yellow man could do. The day
had been very still and hot; the town had shown an unreasoning
curiosity. In the lull of evening they were very weary. The tea-table
was drawn near the open door by the court. Shadows moved softly between
them.
"To-morrow you must go on your journey," she said.
Coldness and premonition came to the American. He had met her will
before. This from her was a sort of "I have spoken." He seemed to
recognise it in the silence as an old familiar. She had strength, an
integrity terribly-earned and delivered in fulness and order. It was
something hers so absolutely that even her lover could not impinge upon
it. Perhaps it was the sacred thing about her; the essence of a
character, rapidly unfolding to him in the twenty-four hours; a
character that would meet all crises and that had formed itself by
ancient acquaintance with grief.... In the stress of the moment, Romney
tried to evade the issue, but realised the futility of that. His own
volition was upstanding. Very rarely in his life had he felt its power
as now. It was without variableness, too. There was no shadow of
turning in his heart.
"I cannot leave you," he said.
She was very quiet. "I was weak this morning. It was so wonderful for
you to come. When I think of your coming just at this time, I am in awe
before life—the deepness and strangeness of life. We knew each other;
we did not need words. I haunted and tempted you this morning. You
were strong; you would have ridden away. I caught at your foot quite as
a woman does. I asked you twice a question designed to make you linger.
And I knew the answer before the question. I knew that you could not
tell me, without showing how hard it was for you to go; that you had not
trusted yourself to tell me. I knew it all. I loved your courage. I
should have let you go. That was my failing—"
"You would have been here alone to-day, had I gone. You would have
opened the door to the forward room and there would have been none to
stand behind you—"
"Yes," she whispered.
They were silent. She looked out apprehensively at the creeping
darkness.
"But that is past. Perhaps I was meant to have help this one day, but I
cannot take more time from your journey. I think I must have kept some
one from his quest—some time. I must have learned some terrible lesson
that way, for it is so close to me! The price one pays, for keeping a
man from his quest! It is untellable. You must not think of me. You
must not think of staying with me now. When you have finished your
mission, then you may come—quickly."
"I cannot leave you," he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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