The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
Thomas, with an enforced idleness grafted on the natural and voluntary
power of his disposition, was not of this mind; objecting that a man
compelled to lie on his back on a floor, a sofa, a table, a line of
chairs, or anything he could get to lie upon, was not in racing
condition, and that he desired nothing better than to lie where he was,
enjoying himself in looking at the flies on the ceiling. But, Francis
Goodchild, who had been walking round his companion in a circuit of
twelve miles for two days, and had begun to doubt whether it was reserved
for him ever to be idle in his life, not only overpowered this objection,
but even converted Thomas Idle to a scheme he formed (another idle
inspiration), of conveying the said Thomas to the sea-coast, and putting
his injured leg under a stream of salt-water.
Plunging into this happy conception headforemost, Mr. Goodchild
immediately referred to the county-map, and ardently discovered that the
most delicious piece of sea-coast to be found within the limits of
England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, the Isle of Man, and the Channel
Islands, all summed up together, was Allonby on the coast of Cumberland.
There was the coast of Scotland opposite to Allonby, said Mr. Goodchild
with enthusiasm; there was a fine Scottish mountain on that Scottish
coast; there were Scottish lights to be seen shining across the glorious
Channel, and at Allonby itself there was every idle luxury (no doubt)
that a watering-place could offer to the heart of idle man. Moreover,
said Mr. Goodchild, with his finger on the map, this exquisite retreat
was approached by a coach-road, from a railway-station called Aspatria—a
name, in a manner, suggestive of the departed glories of Greece,
associated with one of the most engaging and most famous of Greek women.
On this point, Mr. Goodchild continued at intervals to breathe a vein of
classic fancy and eloquence exceedingly irksome to Mr. Idle, until it
appeared that the honest English pronunciation of that Cumberland country
shortened Aspatria into ‘Spatter.’ After this supplementary discovery,
Mr. Goodchild said no more about it.
By way of Spatter, the crippled Idle was carried, hoisted, pushed, poked,
and packed, into and out of carriages, into and out of beds, into and out
of tavern resting-places, until he was brought at length within sniff of
the sea. And now, behold the apprentices gallantly riding into Allonby
in a one-horse fly, bent upon staying in that peaceful marine valley
until the turbulent Doncaster time shall come round upon the wheel, in
its turn among what are in sporting registers called the ‘Fixtures’ for
the month.
‘Do you see Allonby!’ asked Thomas Idle.
‘I don’t see it yet,’ said Francis, looking out of window.
‘It must be there,’ said Thomas Idle.
‘I don’t see it,’ returned Francis.
‘It must be there,’ repeated Thomas Idle, fretfully.
‘Lord bless me!’ exclaimed Francis, drawing in his head, ‘I suppose this
is it!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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