The Lazy Tour of Two Idle ApprenticesDickens, Charles
General
The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices
Dickens, Charles
Apprentices -- Fiction; Cumbria (England) -- Description and travel -- Fiction; Walking -- England -- Cumbria -- Fiction
So, again, with the second disaster. While Thomas was lazy, he was a
model of health. His first attempt at active exertion and his first
suffering from severe illness are connected together by the intimate
relations of cause and effect. Shortly after leaving school, he
accompanied a party of friends to a cricket-field, in his natural and
appropriate character of spectator only. On the ground it was discovered
that the players fell short of the required number, and facile Thomas was
persuaded to assist in making up the complement. At a certain appointed
time, he was roused from peaceful slumber in a dry ditch, and placed
before three wickets with a bat in his hand. Opposite to him, behind
three more wickets, stood one of his bosom friends, filling the situation
(as he was informed) of bowler. No words can describe Mr. Idle’s horror
and amazement, when he saw this young man—on ordinary occasions, the
meekest and mildest of human beings—suddenly contract his eye-brows,
compress his lips, assume the aspect of an infuriated savage, run back a
few steps, then run forward, and, without the slightest previous
provocation, hurl a detestably hard ball with all his might straight at
Thomas’s legs. Stimulated to preternatural activity of body and
sharpness of eye by the instinct of self-preservation, Mr. Idle
contrived, by jumping deftly aside at the right moment, and by using his
bat (ridiculously narrow as it was for the purpose) as a shield, to
preserve his life and limbs from the dastardly attack that had been made
on both, to leave the full force of the deadly missile to strike his
wicket instead of his leg; and to end the innings, so far as his side was
concerned, by being immediately bowled out. Grateful for his escape, he
was about to return to the dry ditch, when he was peremptorily stopped,
and told that the other side was ‘going in,’ and that he was expected to
‘field.’ His conception of the whole art and mystery of ‘fielding,’ may
be summed up in the three words of serious advice which he privately
administered to himself on that trying occasion—avoid the ball.
Fortified by this sound and salutary principle, he took his own course,
impervious alike to ridicule and abuse. Whenever the ball came near him,
he thought of his shins, and got out of the way immediately. ‘Catch it!’
‘Stop it!’ ‘Pitch it up!’ were cries that passed by him like the idle
wind that he regarded not. He ducked under it, he jumped over it, he
whisked himself away from it on either side. Never once, through the
whole innings did he and the ball come together on anything approaching
to intimate terms. The unnatural activity of body which was necessarily
called forth for the accomplishment of this result threw Thomas Idle, for
the first time in his life, into a perspiration. The perspiration, in
consequence of his want of practice in the management of that particular
result of bodily activity, was suddenly checked; the inevitable chill
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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