"As I was always considered a good looking man," (the major, though as ugly a man as could well be found, was extremely vain of his looks,) "no end of sly looks were turned upon me at parties by marriageable damsels, who mistook me for a single man on the look out. As to young widows, why, the tears hung as temptingly in their eyes as pearls. Whether they were for me or their deceased husbands, I am not bound to say, self praise being no recommendation. It often occurred to me, however, that marrying a widow would be an act of charity heaven could not fail to record to the credit of any good natured bachelor. "And this, too, I will say, that nothing could have been more elegantly conducted than the parties to which I was invited. Indeed, I saw no occasion for repaying hospitality after the manner of those malicious writers, who take pleasure in sneering at the quality of entertainment given by our aristocracy, merely because it is composed of men who have got rich by the very republican business of sailing ships and selling eatables. Now I by no means underrate the man of letters who truly represents genius, or learning; but that every dabbler in small satire should dub himself a man of letters, and therefore set up for an idol before whom better men must bow, or have their social affairs battered to pieces, is something I cannot condescend to admit. By all means, if the little fellows will have a court, let them have one of their own, and to their liking; for they will quarrel over those ills they seem born to; and if they can quarrel without interfering with the rights of others, the peace of the earth may be preserved. In fine, I would have them cram themselves into everything great and good, and ask only that they be careful not to weaken those pedestals upon which our republic is expanding itself. But enough of this. "Having passed through fetes of unequaled splendor the politicians began to put questions to me, which, in many instances, it was not convenient for me to answer, inasmuch as by a single word I might commit myself to principles my party would not sanction. They, however, took me into their keeping, and so delayed my journey to Washington that I began to feel that I had got among friends of the wrong kind." We were now entering a short curve in the road, between two hills covered with chestnut trees, beneath which several lean sheep were grazing, when the major's story was interrupted by the shrill sound of a fishmonger's horn. CHAPTER VIII. WHAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE FISHMONGER.