It is with a definite sense of relief that one takes up the thread of S.
J.-B.’s life after she leaves school. She is still, it is true, a
problem and a perplexity to many, and sometimes to those who loved her
best: but at least she appeals now to a wider tribunal: her qualities
get a chance to tell, even if they do not precisely conform to the
pattern laboriously cut out by an early Victorian schoolmistress.
Her health, unhappily, still left a good deal to be desired. The doctors
had much to say of the irritability of her brain. The stethoscope was
supposed, too, to reveal something wrong with her heart, but this must
have been functional, as no trace of it was discoverable in after life.
Riding, fortunately was now allowed, and she entered into the enjoyment
of it with characteristic intensity; but beyond this, in the early days
of her—comparative—freedom, she certainly took no pains to improve her
physique. The enterprising young women of those days had still so much
to learn! It seldom occurred to them to balance their physical
expenditure with their receipts.
Meanwhile it is not to be supposed that her parents had gained _greater_
control over her than when she was a child: they remained quite
uncompromising in the matter of dancing, theatre-going, and other
“worldly” amusements, but they were unsuccessful in making her conform
to the ordinary, wholesome, old-fashioned routine of English family
life. Naturally her self-will in this respect annoyed both parents very
much, and Mrs. Jex-Blake must often have been sorely put to it to
restrain her own impatience and to preserve any semblance of peace.
To her credit be it said that she rose to a difficult situation in a
manner that makes praise an impertinence. One is glad to gather from the
records that her physical health was now on a firmer basis than
formerly, but that was only one element in the case. Always a deeply
religious woman, she seems to have stepped now into the full freedom of
her faith,—faith, not only in God, but in the essential goodness and
uprightness of her wayward child. She seems to have realized fully for
the first time that the stormy ways which tried her so sorely were not a
mere matter of whim and wilfulness, but that they arose from a definite
strain in her daughter,—a strain that caused no small suffering to the
owner of that nature,—a strain possibly fundamental in character,
certainly far too deeply imbedded to be easily eradicated. And, having
realized this, the Mother set herself, not as before to criticise the
evil, but to foster and rejoice in the good, to make life as easy as
might be, to reduce friction to a minimum, and, above all, to surround
her daughter with a real glow and radiance of sympathy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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