The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
But, as a matter of fact, there is a deep and pellucid well of
enterprise in the centre of commercial circles in Mallingham, and it
only wants an occasional stir to irrigate the dead levels of the town.
For instance, there is published by a stationer in the High Street
the _Mallingham Almanac_, an annual work which gives a large amount
of interesting information valuable to many persons in an agricultural
district, such as the list of fair days in all the villages in the
county, the hours of the rising and setting of the sun (of undoubted
interest to farmers), the changes of the moon (also very important to
have noted down to the very second), the equation of time from day to
day (without which we could hardly get on at all), the time of high
water at London Bridge, and the variation of the compass (indispensable
to agriculturists). A graver note is, however, sounded in the pages
devoted to prophecy, after the style of the ever veracious Francis
Moore, where readers, born when Mercury was in the Fourth House, are
warned against eating uncooked horse-chestnuts on a Friday, and the
general public are told that as, in a certain month, Mars and Neptune
are in opposition--perhaps it should be apposition--news will be
published regarding the German Emperor.
Then there are pages given over wholly to poetry, like Ephraim and his
idols.
The spirit of enterprise which flutters--I am afraid that I referred to
it in an earlier paragraph in a way that suggested water which really
does not flutter,--as a moth round a flame, round a good advertising
medium in Mallingham, is shown by the pages of business cards scattered
throughout the sheets of this almanac.
In his Address to his Subscribers which prefaces the last issue, the
publisher, who is also the editor, recognises in a handsome way
the support which he has received from his numerous advertisers
and expresses the earnest hope that they may all, individually and
collectively, find that their business will rapidly increase as a reward
for their enterprise.
On the opposite page may be read the business cards of three
undertakers.
Mallingham is certainly not a dormitory so far as the possibilities of
trade are concerned. It may safely be said that every business house
will undertake undertaking in all its branches and the removal of
furniture. No matter how small may be the apparent connection between
the business professed on the shop sign and the undertaking industry or
the removal industry, you will find on inquiry the utmost willingness
expressed to meet your wishes in either direction.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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