The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
And here is another touch: the valuable cake basket was returned with a
heavy dinge in one place, which the jeweller affirms was not there
when he packed it in tissue paper and shavings in its box with the
card bearing the inscription: “To dear Constance, with best wishes
from--------” That is why he refused to take it back.
It was the son of this lady whose generosity was so spurned who, on
leaving the rather second-class public school at which he received a
sort of education, gravely said to another boy from Mallingham who had
also just been finished--
“I suppose I'll often see you at Mallingham, old chap, as we are both
living there, and I'm sure that I should be very glad to have a
chat with you now and then; but, of course, you won't expect me to
acknowledge you if I am walking with my mother or sister.”
“Why not?” asked the other boy.
“Oh, my dear fellow, can't you see that it would never do?” said the
first. “You know that your people are not in our set. You can't expect
that because we happen to have been three years in the same house,
we are in the same social position at home. But, as you know, there's
nothing of the snob about me, and any time that we meet in one of the
side streets, and even at the unfashionable end of High Street, I'll
certainly nod to you. But that's the farthest that I can be expected to
go.”
The other boy certainly expected him to go very much farther even than
the unfashionable end of the High Street, and ventured to delimitate the
boundaries of the place, and to say a word or two respecting its climate
and the fitness of his companions and all his family for a permanent
residence there. Being a biggish lad, and enjoying a reputation for
being opposed to peace at any price, he could express his inmost
feelings without being deterred by any inconvenient reprisals.
The other did not even respond to his exuberance upon this occasion. He
sulked in the corner of the railway carriage where the conversation took
place, and he has been sulking ever since.
IV.--THE ENTERPRISE OF MALLINGHAM
It was a gentleman who travelled in the latest styles in soft goods who
was heard to affirm that Mallingham was not a town: it was a dormitory.
He doubtless spoke from the horizon line of soft goods, having in his
eye certain of those firms who still do business in the concave side of
ancient bay windows, and have not yet been lured on to fortnightly cheap
sales behind a sheet of plate-glass. A commercial traveller takes some
time to recover his selfrespect after importuning a possible client in
the con-cavity of an eighteenth-century window of what was once a dainty
parlour, but is now a dingy shop.
[Illustration: 0139]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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