The Little Regiment, and Other Episodes of the American Civil WarCrane, Stephen
History
The Little Regiment, and Other Episodes of the American Civil War
Crane, Stephen
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories, American
"Well, sir, if that ain't th' derndest thing! I never thought Fred
Collins had the blood in him for that kind of business."
"What's he goin' to do, anyhow?"
"He's goin' to that well there after water."
"We ain't dyin' of thirst, are we? That's foolishness."
"Well, somebody put him up to it, an' he's doin' it."
"Say, he must be a desperate cuss."
When Collins faced the meadow and walked away from the regiment, he was
vaguely conscious that a chasm, the deep valley of all prides, was
suddenly between him and his comrades. It was provisional, but the
provision was that he return as a victor. He had blindly been led by
quaint emotions, and laid himself under an obligation to walk squarely
up to the face of death.
But he was not sure that he wished to make a retraction, even if he
could do so without shame. As a matter of truth, he was sure of very
little. He was mainly surprised.
It seemed to him supernaturally strange that he had allowed his mind to
manoeuvre his body into such a situation. He understood that it might
be called dramatically great.
However, he had no full appreciation of anything, excepting that he was
actually conscious of being dazed. He could feel his dulled mid groping
after the form and colour of this incident. He wondered why he did not
feel some keen agony of fear cutting his sense like a knife. He
wondered at this, because human expression had said loudly for
centuries that men should feel afraid of certain things, and that all
men who did not feel this fear were phenomena--heroes.
He was, then, a hero. He suffered that disappointment which we would
all have if we discovered that we were ourselves capable of those deeds
which we most admire in history and legend. This, then, was a hero.
After all, heroes were not much.
No, it could not be true. He was not a hero. Heroes had no shames in
their lives, and, as for him, he remembered borrowing fifteen dollars
from a friend and promising to pay it back the next day, and then
avoiding that friend for ten months. When at home his mother had
aroused him for the early labour of his life on the farm, it had often
been his fashion to be irritable, childish, diabolical; and his mother
had died since he had come to the war.
He saw that, in this matter of the well, the canteens, the shells, he
was an intruder in the land of fine deeds.
He was now about thirty paces from his comrades. The regiment had just
turned its many faces toward him.
From the forest of terrific noises there suddenly emerged a little
uneven line of men. They fired fiercely and rapidly at distant foliage
on which appeared little puffs of white smoke. The spatter of skirmish
firing was added to the thunder of the guns on the hill. The little
line of men ran forward. A colour-sergeant fell flat with his flag as
if he had slipped on ice. There was hoarse cheering from this distant
field.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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