"But this time, as he spoke, he closed the door behind him and came into
the room towards me. 'This isn't playing fair, Raoul,' I only said; 'you
will get me into a row.'
"'Fair!' he said, lifting his eyebrows, the gallant ass. 'My sweet, do
you think anything real is fair in this world? And don't you trust me?
That isn't fair of you, you know--haven't I made love to you for two
weeks, haven't I loved you for two weeks, haven't I loved you all my
life--and now?' And with that he had me in his arms, not for the first
time, mind you, but this time very differently; and, over his shoulder,
as he held me, I saw the door open, and the Marquis stood there,
outraged. Raoul didn't seem to know, still held me, and I, for a
paralysed moment, couldn't move, just stared at the old man standing
very stiffly in the doorway, a hand outstretched on the door-knob--hell
seemed to have opened for him through that door, and he could move as
little as I. At last I jumped away from Raoul with a sort of cry, and he
turned quickly round to the door. He didn't go pale, or look a fool; he
must have made a study of such contretemps; nothing was said, the old
man waiting in the doorway, with words terribly smothered; he moved
aside a little from the door as though to let a dog slink through. But
Raoul wasn't going to slink; he was rather pink, negligent, resigned;
and as, without the least hurry, he bent over my fingers and his eyes
smiled gently at me, I found myself admiring him, really loving him for
the first time. Women are like that.... All this, of course, had
happened in less than a minute; from point of time my guardian came into
my room and Raoul left it--but in point of fact a great deal happened.
For, as Raoul left me and walked across the room to the door, and
through it without taking the least notice of the old man, and as I
heard his even steps receding down the _parquet_ corridor, my first
paralysed fear simmered in me and boiled up into a fierce, vixen anger.
I simply trembled now with anger at the old man as I had first trembled
with fear of him. What right had he to be standing there, ordering about
my life and my young men? What right had he to be closing the door, as
he was doing now? What right, what right? The words were throbbing
inside me, just those words, fixed unrestrainedly on the old man, who
had made a step towards me, and stopped again....
"'Child!' the pain in that one word, the lack of anger in it, an utter,
absolute pain accusing me, did not soothe. Accuse me? By what right?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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