“I saw that sign when I came by, Donna,” he told her, “and I didn't like
it. It sounded too blamed pessimistic for me, so when I broke camp next
morning I changed the sign to read 'Soap' instead of 'Hope.'”
Donna's laughter awoke the echoes in the silent patio, and Bob McGraw,
certain of his audience, rambled on. Ah, what a dreamer, what a lovable,
careless, lazy optimist he was! And how Donna's whole nature went out
in sympathy with his! She knew so well what drove him on; she envied
him the prerogative of sex which denied to her these joyous, endless
wanderings. “I love it” he told her presently. “I can't help it. It
appeals to something in me, just like drink appeals to a drunkard. I'm
never so happy as when gophering around in a barren prospect hole or
coyoting on some rocky hillside. But it's only another form of the
gambling fever, and I realize that whether my present plans mature or
not I've got to give it up. It was all right a few years ago, but now
the idea of wandering all my life over the mountains and desert, and in
the end dying under a bush, like a jack-rabbit--no, I've got to give it
up and follow something definite.”
Again she patted his hand. She knew the resolution cost him a pang; it
pleased her to learn that he had made it because he realized that he
owed something to himself; not because of the fact of his love for her.
“It won't take you long, once you have made up your mind” she encouraged
him.
“I don't want to be rich,” he explained. “When I started out, Donna, I
had that idea. I wanted money--in great big gobs, so I could throw it
around with both hands and enjoy myself. I used to think a good deal
about myself in those days, but five years in the desert and riding the
range changes one. It takes the little, selfish foolish notions out of
one's head and substitutes something bigger and nobler and--and--well,
I can't exactly explain, dear, but I know a little verse that covers the
subject very thoroughly:
The little cares that fretted me,
I lost them yesterday
Among the fields above the sea,
Among the winds at play,
Among the lowing of the herds,
The rustling of the trees,
Among the singing of the birds,
The humming of the bees;
The foolish fears of what might happen,
I cast them all away
Among the clover-scented grass,
Among the new-mown hay,
Among the hushing of the corn
Where drowsy poppies nod,
Where ill thoughts die and good are born,
Out in the fields with God.”
The hint of the desert sadness died out in the girl's eyes as he
declaimed his gospel.
“Oh,” she cried softly, “that's beautiful--beautiful.”
“That's the Litany of a Pagan, Donna,” he answered. “One has to believe
to understand when he goes to church in a city, but if you're a Pagan
like me, you only have to understand in order to believe.”
“I am,” she interrupted passionately, “I'm a Pagan and the daughter of a
Pagan. My father was a Sun Worshiper--like you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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