Korean War, 1950-1953 -- United States -- Fiction; War stories
the Colonel was--coward and despot or staunch bold leader--he had him
beaten, going and coming. Nothing could be worse than what Mannix was
doing--adding to a disaster already ordained (Culver somehow sensed) the
burden of his vicious fury. At least let up, the men had had enough.
But his mind was confused. His kidneys were aching as if they had been
pounded with a mallet, and he walked along now with his hands on his
waist, like a professor lecturing in a classroom, coattails over his
arms.
And for the first time he felt intolerably hot--with a heat that
contributed to his mounting fury. At night they had sweated more from
exertion; the coolness of the evening had been at least some solace, but
the morning’s sun began to flagellate him anew, adding curious sharp
blades of pain to the furious frustration boiling inside him.
Frustration at the fact that he was not independent enough, nor
possessed of enough free will, was not _man_ enough to say, to hell with
it and crap out himself; that he was not man enough to disavow all his
determination and endurance and suffering, cash in his chips, and by
that act flaunt his contempt of the march, the Colonel, the whole bloody
Marine Corps. But he was _not_ man enough, he knew, far less simply a
free man; he was just a marine--as was Mannix, and so many of the
others--and they had been marines, it seemed, all their lives, would go
on being marines forever; and the frustration implicit in this thought
brought him suddenly close to tears. Mannix. A cold horror came over
him. Far down, profoundly, Mannix was so much a marine that it could
make him casually demented. The corruption begun years ago in his
drill-field feet had climbed up, overtaken him, and had begun to rot his
brain. Culver heard himself sobbing with frustration and outrage. The
sun beat down against his back. His mind slipped off into fevered
blankness, registering once more, on that crazy cinematic tape, chaos,
vagrant jigsaw images: Mannix’s voice far ahead, hoarse and breaking
now, then long spells of silence; halts beside stifling, windless
fields, then a shady ditch into which he plunged, feverish and comatose,
dreaming of a carnival tent where one bought, from a dozen barrels, all
sorts of ice, chipped, crushed, and cubed, in various shapes and sizes.
He was awakened by that terrible cry--_Saddle up, saddle up!_--and he
set out again. The sun rose higher and higher. O’Leary, with a groan,
dropped behind and vanished. Two trucks passed loaded with stiff,
green-clad bodies motionless as corpses. The canteen fell off Culver’s
belt, somewhere, sometime; now he found though, to his surprise, that he
was no longer thirsty and no longer sweating. This was dangerous, he
recalled from some lecture, but at that moment the young marine vomiting
at the roadside seemed more important, even more interesting. He stopped
to help, thought better of it, passed on--through a strange crowd of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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