England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
In the end, she did not write to him at all. It was more effective,
she thought, to remain silent. So she went to school the next morning
as usual, and gave her lessons as usual; though she looked in the
glass at intervals to see if she were pale and had a sad expression,
which certainly ought to have been the case. But even her head did not
ache, which it did sometimes; and Nature obstinately refused to come
to her assistance. She reached home again about four o'clock, and the
aspect of the doorsteps and the area completed her discomfiture. If
they had only been a little less squalid, a little more free from the
domination of cats, she might have retained her dignified attitude to
the end. But there was something about them to-day that recalled the
cosy little room in the Temple by vivid contrast; and she flung her
pile of exercise books recklessly upon the hall table, and hastened
out of the house again, without allowing herself time to think.
"I was afraid you were not coming," he said, and he greeted her with
both hands. She never remembered seeing him so unreserved in his
welcome before; and she marvelled at herself for having attempted to
keep away from him any longer.
"It was because of the cats," she said, laughing to hide her emotion.
But she could not hide anything from him; he knew something of what
she was thinking, and he bent down and deliberately kissed her.
"Why did you do that?" she asked, trying to free her hands to cover
her burning face.
"Because you didn't stop me, I suppose," he replied, lightly.
"But I didn't know you were going to."
"Because I knew you wouldn't mind, then."
She did not speak, and her eyes were lowered.
"Did you mind, Katharine?"
"No," she whispered.
"Now, tell me why I am indebted to the cats," he said, as he rang the
bell for tea; and for the rest of the afternoon they talked, as
Katharine laughingly said, "without any conversation."
There was no explanation on either side, no attempt at facing the
situation; and she felt when she left him that she had thrown away her
last chance of controlling their friendship. There had been a tacit
struggle between their two wills, and his had triumphed. She could
never put him out of her life now, unless he broke with her of his
own accord; and she realised bitterly, even while she was glad, that
he did not care enough for her to do that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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