The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
Paul Boielle was a waiter. The word 'waiter' suggests a soft-voiced,
deft-handed being, moving swiftly and without noise in an atmosphere of
luxury and shaded lamps. At Bredin's Parisian Cafe and Restaurant in
Soho, where Paul worked, there were none of these things; and Paul
himself, though he certainly moved swiftly, was by no means noiseless.
His progress through the room resembled in almost equal proportions the
finish of a Marathon race, the star-act of a professional juggler, and
a monologue by an Earl's Court side-showman. Constant acquaintance
rendered regular habitues callous to the wonder, but to a stranger the
sight of Paul tearing over the difficult between-tables course, his
hands loaded with two vast pyramids of dishes, shouting as he went the
mystic word, 'Comingsarecominginamomentsaresteaksareyessarecomingsare!'
was impressive to a degree. For doing far less exacting feats on the
stage music-hall performers were being paid fifty pounds a week. Paul
got eighteen shillings.
What a blessing is poverty, properly considered. If Paul had received
more than eighteen shillings a week he would not have lived in an
attic. He would have luxuriated in a bed-sitting-room on the second
floor; and would consequently have missed what was practically a
genuine north light. The skylight which went with the attic was so
arranged that the room was a studio in miniature, and, as Paul was
engaged in his spare moments in painting a great picture, nothing could
have been more fortunate; for Paul, like so many of our public men,
lived two lives. Off duty, the sprinting, barking juggler of Bredin's
Parisian Cafe became the quiet follower of Art. Ever since his
childhood he had had a passion for drawing and painting. He regretted
that Fate had allowed him so little time for such work; but after all,
he reflected, all great artists had had their struggles--so why not
he? Moreover, they were now nearly at an end. An hour here, an hour
there, and every Thursday a whole afternoon, and the great picture was
within measurable distance of completion. He had won through. Without
models, without leisure, hungry, tired, he had nevertheless triumphed.
A few more touches, and the masterpiece would be ready for purchase. And
after that all would be plain sailing. Paul could forecast the scene so
exactly. The picture would be at the dealer's, possibly--one must not
be too sanguine--thrust away in some odd corner. The wealthy
connoisseur would come in. At first he would not see the masterpiece;
other more prominently displayed works would catch his eye. He would
turn from them in weary scorn, and then!... Paul wondered how big the
cheque would be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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