indifferent to the advantages of having for a husband a man with money
enough to restore the somewhat tarnished prestige of her own family to
its pristine brilliancy. She had never said a word to encourage the
scheming of Lady Bellair; neither, on the other hand, had she ever
said a word to discourage her hopes, or give her ground for doubting
the acceptableness of her cherished project. Hence Lady Bellair had
naturally come to regard the two as almost affianced. But Florimel’s
aversion to the idea of marriage, and her horror at the thought of
the slightest whisper of what was between her and Lenorme, increased
together.
There were times too when she asked herself in anxious discomfort
whether she was not possibly a transgressor against a deeper and
simpler law than that of station--whether she was altogether maidenly
in the encouragement she had given and was giving to the painter. It
must not be imagined that she had once visited him without a companion,
though that companion was indeed sometimes only her maid--her real
object being covered by the true pretext of sitting for her portrait,
which Lady Bellair pleased herself with imagining would one day be
presented to Lord Liftore. But she could not, upon such occasions of
morning judgment as this, fail to doubt sorely whether the visits she
paid him, and the liberties which upon fortunate occasions she allowed
him, were such as could be justified on any ground other than that
she was prepared to give him all. All, however, she was by no means
prepared to give him: that involved consequences far too terrible to be
contemplated even as possibilities.
With such causes for disquiet in her young heart and brain, it is not
then wonderful that she should sometimes be unable to slip across this
troubled region of the night in the boat of her dreams, but should
suffer shipwreck on the waking coast, and have to encounter the staring
and questioning eyes of more than one importunate truth. Nor is it
any wonder either that, to such an inexperienced and so troubled a
heart, the assurance of one absolutely devoted friend should come with
healing and hope--even if that friend should be but a groom, altogether
incapable of understanding her position, or perceiving the phantoms
that crowded about her, threatening to embody themselves in her ruin. A
clumsy, ridiculous fellow, she said to herself, from whose person she
could never dissociate the smell of fish, who talked a horrible jargon
called Scotch, and who could not be prevented from uttering unpalatable
truths at uncomfortable moments; yet whose thoughts were as chivalrous
as his person was powerful, and whose countenance was pleasing if only
for the triumph of honesty therein: she actually felt stronger and
safer to know he was near, and at her beck and call.
CHAPTER XV.
PORTLOSSIE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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