The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
That night tragedy was to begin in my life. When we were asleep, my
father, mother and I, the son of our overseer trespassed across our
lawn. Tim was on watch. No one ever knew exactly what happened; but Tim
went at him, tore his pantaloons and bit him in the thigh. It was my
certain belief that the boy had stoned Tim, for I found stones in the
yard the next morning. And Uncle Robert intimated that Tim had guarded
the turkey-house. But excuses were of no avail. Early in the day, the
overseer brought the boy and his pantaloons and exhibited them to my
father and was loud in his complaints. The brazen, whining boy was
really proud of his wound. I do not know what my father said to them,
for he took them into his office down by the grape-arbor; but that
afternoon Tim was tied with a long trace to the big poplar tree. And I
heard my father say that Tim must surely die. Die? What did that mean?
Tim die? Dead! My father, a man, have the right to take my Tim’s life?
No, no, that could not be. God would not stand for that. My mother had
taught me to pray every night, and now in a quick impulse I rushed
alone to the garret, secreted myself in a cuddy, knelt by an old black
trunk, and prayed and wept; and I felt that God heard me and that my
Tim was safe. Oh, what a relief! Then I went to the poplar tree. Tim
looked into my eyes. He knew something was wrong. He gave me his paw.
And I bumped his head. I whispered that he was safe; that I had prayed
for him. I thought and still think that Tim’s eyes watered. We sat
there under the poplar tree and watched the yellow leaves fall.
Presently I saw my father appear on the front porch. He had his shotgun
under his arm, and came toward us. Child that I was, I thought he was
going hunting and had come to get Tim. But when I saw him untie the
trace and start to lead Tim, I understood. I screamed, I caught his
trouser leg, I wept; he shook me off and had me taken into the house,
screaming and kicking and yelling. Oh, I think those were the keenest
pangs which I have ever endured. They put me on my play-counter, and
offered me toys! I hoodwinked them. I behaved; and in a few minutes
they let me go.
I stole up to my cuddy in the garret.
I knelt again by the old black trunk. They had gone back on Tim and
therefore on me. But God would not go back on us. I wept and said
every prayer that my mother had taught me. And I said this one of my
own:
“Lord, save Tim. Don’t let pop make him die.”
Boom! the report of a gun rang across the woods. I shuddered. Had God,
too, gone back on me? If so, why?
I went to the attic window and waited breathlessly. I stretched myself
flat on the dusty floor, so that I could see and not be seen. After a
little while I saw my father climb over the zig-zag fence, carrying the
trace over his shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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