Five yards of superfine dove-coloured cloth, at a guinea a yard, was charged at the woollen-draper’s. Ah! dear Sir, you were short sighted here; two yards and three-quarters make a match-coat and leggons, five yards will not make two; a coarser cloth would have suited Indians, and another colour would have pleased them much better; for I am much mistaken if these are not the only Indians that ever wore other than their favourite colours of red and blue; but the laceman’s bill will clear up this affair. Let me see! Vellum lace, broad and narrow: Was it for button holes for a Cherokee mantle? Sure Ostenaco never once had the ridiculous fancy of putting useless, and solely ornamental, buttons upon a match-coat; where the duce then were the button-holes placed? But I may, I believe, give a history of that affair, without being matter of an uncommon penetration. A certain _Man-Killer_ wanting a holiday suit to appear in, at the installation of some royal and noble knights of the garter—but here some critic, a pretended judge of Indian affairs, will perhaps say, that Indians have no such installations, and that they would never become the laughing-stock of their countrymen, by being swathed up in English cloaths. Well, sharp-eyed critic, good cloaths will never want wearers; it is a pity good things should be lost, and the gentleman that provided them most absolutely be obliged to wear them himself, since the Indians will not. What goodness! Condescend to wear the Indians refusals! _O tempora! O mores!_ The washerwoman’s bill, with many others, I had already paid; but as it had not paid toll _en passant_, it found its way into the treasury, with an increase of five or six pounds, being just as much again as the contents of the bill; so summing up the gentleman’s profits on what was really received, I imagined it to be about _cent. per cent._ Mr. Martin desired me to take the accounts home to revise at my leisure, which I soon after returned with alterations, little to the honour of the original accomptant, however great his skill in figures. But as his character has been sufficiently known in several late affairs, I shall spend no more of my time, or the reader’s patience, in quoting numerable instances of the same dye. I shall only mention the injury done to Mr. Quin, whose house was so spoiled by the rabble that came to see the Indians, that he was at a great expence to put it to rights; but instead of Mr. Cacanthropos’s allowing out of the immense profits of the show, wherewith to repair the damage, he got him to sign a receipt in full, and then curtailed and perquisited three pounds.