The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
Lady Griffin blusht, and droopt her head till her ringlets fell into her
fish-plate: and she swallowed Lord Crabs's flumry just as she would so
many musharuins. My lord (whose powers of slack-jaw was notoarious) nex
addrast another spitch to Miss Griffin. He said he'd heard how Deuceace
was SITUATED. Miss blusht--what a happy dog he was--Miss blusht crimson,
and then he sighed deeply, and began eating his turbat and lobster
sos. Master was a good un at flumry, but, law bless you! he was no moar
equill to the old man than a mole-hill is to a mounting. Before the
night was over, he had made as much progress as another man would in a
ear. One almost forgot his red nose and his big stomick, and his wicked
leering i's, in his gentle insiniwating woice, his fund of annygoats,
and, above all, the bewtific, morl, religious, and honrabble toan of his
genral conservation. Praps you will say that these ladies were, for such
rich pipple, mightaly esaly captivated; but recklect, my dear sir, that
they were fresh from Injar,--that they'd not sean many lords,--that
they adoared the peeridge, as every honest woman does in England who has
proper feelinx, and has read the fashnabble novvles,--and that here at
Paris was their fust step into fashnabble sosiaty.
Well, after dinner, while Miss Matilda was singing “Die tantie,” or “Dip
your chair,” or some of them sellabrated Italyian hairs (when she began
this squall, hang me if she'd ever stop), my lord gets hold of Lady
Griffin again, and gradgaly begins to talk to her in a very different
strane.
“What a blessing it is for us all,” says he, “that Algernon has found a
friend so respectable as your ladyship.”
“Indeed, my lord; and why? I suppose I am not the only respectable
friend that Mr. Deuceace has?”
“No, surely; not the only one he HAS HAD: his birth, and, permit me to
say, his relationship to myself, have procured him many. But--” (here my
lord heaved a very affecting and large sigh).
“But what?” says my lady, laffing at the igspression of his dismal face.
“You don't mean that Mr. Deuceace has lost them or is unworthy of them?”
“I trust not, my dear madam, I trust not; but he is wild, thoughtless,
extravagant, and embarrassed: and you know a man under these
circumstances is not very particular as to his associates.”
“Embarrassed? Good heavens! He says he has two thousand a year left him
by a god-mother; and he does not seem even to spend his income--a very
handsome independence, too, for a bachelor.”
My lord nodded his head sadly, and said,--“Will your ladyship give me
your word of honor to be secret? My son has but a thousand a year, which
I allow him, and is heavily in debt. He has played, madam, I fear;
and for this reason I am so glad to hear that he is in a respectable
domestic circle, where he may learn, in the presence of far greater and
purer attractions, to forget the dice-box, and the low company which has
been his bane.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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