The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
And so, in spite of his father (at which old noblemin Mr. Deuceace now
snapt his fingers), in spite of his detts (which, to do him Justas, had
never stood much in his way), and in spite of his povatty, idleness,
extravagans, swindling, and debotcheries of all kinds (which an't
GENERALLY very favorable to a young man who has to make his way in the
world); in spite of all, there he was, I say, at the topp of the trea,
the fewcher master of a perfect fortun, the defianced husband of a
fool of a wife. What can mortial man want more? Vishns of ambishn now
occupied his soal. Shooting boxes, oppra boxes, money boxes always full;
hunters at Melton; a seat in the house of Commins: heaven knows what!
and not a poar footman, who only describes what he's seen, and can't, in
cors, pennytrate into the idears and the busms of men.
You may be shore that the three-cornered noats came pretty thick now
from the Griffinses. Miss was always a-writing them befoar; and now,
nite, noon, and mornink, breakfast, dinner, and sopper, in they came,
till my pantry (for master never read 'em, and I carried 'em out) was
puffickly intolrabble from the odor of musk, ambygrease, bargymot, and
other sense with which they were impregniated. Here's the contense
of three on 'em, which I've kep in my dex these twenty years as
skeewriosities. Faw! I can smel 'em at this very minit, as I am copying
them down.
BILLY DOO. No. I.
“Monday morning, 2 o'clock.
“'Tis the witching hour of night. Luna illumines my chamber, and falls
upon my sleepless pillow. By her light I am inditing these words to
thee, my Algernon. My brave and beautiful, my soul's lord! when shall
the time come when the tedious night shall not separate us, nor the
blessed day? Twelve! one! two! I have heard the bells chime, and the
quarters, and never cease to think of my husband. My adored Percy,
pardon the girlish confession,--I have kissed the letter at this place.
Will thy lips press it too, and remain for a moment on the spot which
has been equally saluted by your
“MATILDA?”
This was the FUST letter, and was brot to our house by one of the poar
footmin, Fitzclarence, at sicks o'clock in the morning. I thot it was
for life and death, and woak master at that extraornary hour, and gave
it to him. I shall never forgit him, when he red it; he cramped it up,
and he cust and swoar, applying to the lady who roat, the genlmn that
brought it, and me who introjuiced it to his notice such a collection of
epitafs as I seldum hered, excep at Billinxgit. The fact is thiss; for a
fust letter, miss's noat was RATHER too strong and sentymentle. But that
was her way; she was always reading melancholy stoary books--“Thaduse of
Wawsaw,” the “Sorrows of MacWhirter,” and such like.
After about 6 of them, master never yoused to read them, but handid them
over to me, to see if there was anythink in them which must be answered,
in order to kip up appearuntses. The next letter is
No. II.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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