The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
I doan't think Deuceace ever suspected any game on the part of her
ladyship, for she carried it on so admirally, that the quarls which
daily took place betwigst him and the Frenchman never seemed to come
from her; on the contry, she acted as the reglar pease-maker between
them, as I've just shown in the tiff which took place at the door of
the Sally Mangy. Besides, the 2 young men, though reddy enough to snarl,
were natrally unwilling to come to bloes. I'll tell you why: being
friends, and idle, they spent their mornins as young fashnabbles
genrally do, at billiads, fensing, riding, pistle-shooting, or some such
improoving study. In billiads, master beat the Frenchman hollow (and
had won a pretious sight of money from him: but that's neither here nor
there, or, as the French say, ontry noo); at pistle-shooting, master
could knock down eight immidges out of ten, and De l'Orge seven; and in
fensing, the Frenchman could pink the Honorable Algernon down evry one
of his weskit buttns. They'd each of them been out more than onst, for
every Frenchman will fight, and master had been obleag'd to do so in the
cors of his bisniss; and knowing each other's curridg, as well as the
fact that either could put a hundrid bolls running into a hat at 30
yards, they wairnt very willing to try such exparrymence upon their own
hats with their own heads in them. So you see they kep quiet, and only
grould at each other.
But to-day Deuceace was in one of his thundering black humers; and when
in this way he wouldn't stop for man or devvle. I said that he walked
away from the shevalliay, who had given him his hand in his sudden bust
of joyfle good-humor; and who, I do bleave, would have hugd a she-bear,
so very happy was he. Master walked away from him pale and hotty, and,
taking his seat at table, no moor mindid the brandishments of Miss
Griffin, but only replied to them with a pshaw, or a dam at one of us
servnts, or abuse of the soop, or the wine; cussing and swearing like a
trooper, and not like a well-bred son of a noble British peer.
“Will your ladyship,” says he, slivering off the wing of a pully ally
bashymall, “allow me to help you?”
“I thank you! no; but I will trouble Monsieur de l'Orge.” And towards
that gnlmn she turned, with a most tender and fasnating smile.
“Your ladyship has taken a very sudden admiration for Mr. de l'Orge's
carving. You used to like mine once.”
“You are very skilful; but to-day, if you will allow me, I will partake
of something a little simpler.”
The Frenchman helped; and, being so happy, in cors, spilt the gravy.
A great blob of brown sos spurted on to master's chick, and myandrewed
down his shert-collar and virging-white weskit.
“Confound you!” says he, “M. de l'Orge, you have done this on purpose.”
And down went his knife and fork, over went his tumbler of wine, a deal
of it into poar Miss Griffinses lap, who looked fritened and ready to
cry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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