Then Mrs. Winnie laughed merrily and said, “Why do you fool him?” and
went on to inform Montague that Caroline’s “babies” were _griffons
Bruxelloises. Griffons_ suggested to him vague ideas of dragons and
unicorns and gargoyles; but he said nothing more, save to accept the
invitation, and that evening he discovered that _griffons Bruxelloises_
were tiny dogs, long-haired, yellow, and fluffy; and that for her two
priceless treasures Mrs. Smythe had an expert nurse, to whom she paid a
hundred dollars a month, and also a footman, and a special cuisine in
which their complicated food was prepared. They had a regular dentist,
and a physician, and gold plate to eat from. Mrs. Smythe also owned two
long-haired St. Bernards of a very rare breed, and a fierce Great Dane,
and a very fat Boston bull pup—the last having been trained to go for
an airing all alone in her carriage, with a solemn coachman and footman
to drive him.
Montague, deftly keeping the conversation upon the subject of pets,
learned that all this was quite common. Many women in Society
artificially made themselves barren, because of the inconvenience
incidental to pregnancy and motherhood; and instead they lavished their
affections upon cats and dogs. Some of these animals had elaborate
costumes, rivalling in expensiveness those of their step-mothers. They
wore tiny boots, which cost eight dollars a pair—house boots, and
street boots lacing up to the knees; they had house-coats,
walking-coats, dusters, sweaters, coats lined with ermine, and
automobile coats with head and chest-protectors and hoods and
goggles—and each coat fitted with a pocket for its tiny handkerchief of
fine linen or lace! And they had collars set with rubies and pearls and
diamonds—one had a collar that cost ten thousand dollars! Sometimes
there would be a coat to match every gown of the owner. There were dog
nurseries and resting-rooms, in which they might be left temporarily;
and manicure parlours for cats, with a physician in charge. When these
pets died, there was an expensive cemetery in Brooklyn especially for
their interment; and they would be duly embalmed and buried in
plush-lined casket, and would have costly marble monuments. When one of
Mrs. Smythe’s best loved pugs had fallen ill of congestion of the
liver, she had had tan-bark put upon the street in front of her house;
and when in spite of this the dog died, she had sent out cards edged in
black, inviting her friends to a “memorial service.” Also she showed
Montague a number of books with very costly bindings, in which were
demonstrated the unity, simplicity, and immortality of the souls of
cats and dogs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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