The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome: With an Account of his Campaign on the Peninsula and in Pall MallRoberts, David
General
The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome: With an Account of his Campaign on the Peninsula and in Pall Mall
Roberts, David
Peninsular War, 1807-1814 -- Poetry
‘His Shepherds[57] tho’ have caused him much anxiety,
‘Such numbers sent from Home, and such variety;
‘Some from all Countries, German, Irish, British--
‘Some staid enough, but many Cursed skittish:
‘Many from Envy--rancorous, and jealous,
‘Esteem’d themselves most mighty clever Fellows,
‘Would mar the Scheme that he’d so ably planned,
‘Had he not held them with a steady Hand.
‘Some swore he always studied to insult them,
‘There peep’d the Cloven foot--he’d not consult them.
‘He wisely judged, and smiled at the attack--
‘He knew the whole concern was on his Back:
‘Had things gone wrong, he knew so well their trim,
‘Done what he would, they’d shoved the Blame on Him.
‘Lots of Young Shepherds came, and it a fact is,
‘Some Prudence wanted, but all wanted Practice.
‘So proud to tend a Flock, they’d scorn denial,
‘The Patron therefore took them all[58] on Trial:
‘Kept those with him he thought most apt to learn,
‘The others recommended to return.
‘Now, my good Friend, ’tis thus the matter stands,
‘No farmer can produce more able Hands.
‘One more Patron[59] also, there will be found
‘Who[60] Farms exclusively this Bit of Ground.
‘Of him I cannot speak, I know him not,
‘You’ll get his Character from Walter Scott:
‘Of his pretensions I am in the Dark,
‘But Folks pronounce him a D----n’d lucky Spark.
‘That wond’rous Poet’s praise I can’t him grudge,
‘As Mr. Scott must be a better judge.
‘A largish Family our Chief attends,
‘Two, or three Shepherds,[61] he retains his Friends.
‘One that inspects the Roads, the Lands Survey, }
‘Marks out the Pens, for fear the Herds might Stray, }
‘Esteem’d a much superior Fellow in his Way. }
‘Another[62] has the charge of his Accounts,
‘Corrects the Bills, and adds up the Amounts:
‘A third,[63] his Private matters does indite,--
‘They’re both extremely Clever, and Polite.
‘Then he’s a numerous Gang of Shepherd Boys,[64]
‘Some go on errands, others kept as Toys.
‘One Youth[65] amidst this lively Group appears,
‘Victim to Miscreants in his early Years,
‘Nobly came forth to act an humble part,
‘T’ obtain a knowledge of the Farming Art:
‘Fearless encounters Danger and Disaster,
‘To be the Pupil of so great a Master.
‘A Youth like him to every virtue prone,
‘Britannia’s lovely Gem must make her own.
‘Then shoals of Salesmen,[66] travelling in all Weathers,
‘You know them by their Spur, long Swords, and Feathers.
‘Smuggling, ’tis said, is grown to such a Pitch,
‘That all these Feather’d Rogues are getting Rich.
‘But Folks say any thing for the sake of chatter--
‘I don’t believe a word about the matter:
‘If in their course of Duty, and Employment,
‘A Hare pick up, by way of some enjoyment,
‘That’s quite enough to give the Rogues a Name--
‘“See, these D----n’d Salesmen! why, they live on Game!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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