When Thompson read the paper, his weather-beaten jaws relaxed into a smile; and putting the document into his pocket, he drily remarked, that Lord Wellington had always been in the habit of giving him _hot work_. “It is not the first time,” said he, “that I was sent to _clear the way_ for him; however, when I arrive, I'll look out for _warm quarters_ for his Lordship and _staff_. But there is a mistake in the route, I suspect; you see ‘_London_’ is the last stage mentioned.” “Yes,” replied the Adjutant-general, “and depend upon it that is the nearest way to the infernal regions.” “Excuse me,” rejoined Thompson, “there is a much better.” “What is that?” asked the other. “Why,” said the Captain, “_Wellington_, to be sure.” The joke was soon carried to the Commander of the forces, and his Lordship, with the best humour in the world, changed Thompson's route, and took him off the _infernal_ duty to which he had previously ordered him. NIGHTS IN THE GUARD-HOUSE. No. II. “Hoo' comes it, that ye ha' got an' extra guard the naight, Mulligan—Eh?” “Musha 'pon my sowl, Sargeant M'Fadgen, it's becaise the Captain ordthered it.” “Poh! mun, I ken that weel; but the Captain wonna gi' ye a guard for naething, wad he?” “No, faith! it's _something_ to me; for I've had three this week before; that is, three nights out o' bed in my reglar juty; so isn't it something to be ordthered another night by way o' recreation?” “Aweel, but what ha' ye been doin, lad?” “Faith! I was doin' nothing at all; an' it was for that I got my guard.” “Hoo's that?” “I was ordthered to put out the light in my barrack-room every night at nine o'clock, an' I did not do it last night—that 's all.” “But you were doin' a wee bit o' something, I'll warrant, Pat. Ye war a liften yer han' to your muzzle—eh?” “O! that's nothing at all at all. We had a dthrop to be sure. That fellow over there on the stool—(_you_, mister Jack Andrews, I mane)—kept a tellin' us such stories, that I forgot the time entirely. Hooh! the divil may care—Jack is here now, and Corporal O'Callaghan to boot; so what signifies a guard, if they'll only tip us a bit of a song: what do you say, Sargeant—eh?” “Why, Pat, I've no objection to that, if there be no muckle noise aboot it.”