One month, two months went by, and I began to take up my life.
Another, and she would be home for good or ill. I thought that I
could live through that other. I had heard of her; not from
her--that I did not require; and the stories were all of the same
character. She was enjoying life in the great city to which I had
sent her; radiant at night, if a little spiritless by day. She was
at balls, at concerts and at theaters. She wore jewels and shone
with the best; I might be proud of her conquests and the sweetness
and dignity with which she bore herself. Thus her friends wrote.
But she wrote nothing; I had not required it. Once, some one--a
visitor at the house--spoke of having seen her. "She was surrounded
with admirers," he had said. "How early our American women ripen!"
was his comment. "She held her head like one who has held sway for
years; but I thought her a trifle worn; as if pleasure absorbed too
much of her sleep. You must look out for her, Judge."
And I smiled grimly enough, I own, to think just how I was looking
out for her.
Then came the thunderbolt.
"I am told that no one ever sees her in the day-time; that she is
always busy, days. But she does not look as if she took that time
for rest. What can your little wife be doing? You ought to hurry up
that important opinion of yours and go see."
He was right; what was she doing? And why shouldn't I go see? There
was no obstacle but my own will, but that is the greatest obstacle
a man can have. I remained at Homewood, but the four weeks of our
further probation looked like a year.
Meanwhile, I had my way with the pavilion. I have shown you my
heart, sometimes at its best, oftenest at its worst. I will show it
to you again in this. I had a wall built round it, close against
the thicket in which it lay embedded. This wall was painted white,
and near it I had lamps placed which were lit at nightfall. Should
a figure pass that wall I could see it from my window. No one could
enter that doorway now, without running the risk of my seeing him
from where I sat at my desk.
Did I feel easier? I do not know that I did. I merely followed an
impulse I dared not name to myself.
Two weeks of this final month went by. Then (it was in the evening)
some one came running up from the grounds, with the message that
Mrs. Ocumpaugh had ridden into the gate, but that she was not ready
to enter the house. Would I meet her at the pavilion?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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