The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_STIDULPH enters from the landing and again wanders to the counter
and to the cigarettes. The "Mind the Paint" air, to the time of a Two
Step, is played in the distance._
FARNCOMBE.
[_Bowing to LILY slightly and drawing himself up._] Shall I-- take you
to Mr. Cooling?
LILY.
[_With dignity, inclining her head._] Will you? [_She is putting her
hand through his arm when the look upon his face softens her. She
drops her voice to a whisper._] Have I hurt you?
FARNCOMBE.
Oh, I deserve the rebuke.
LILY.
No, you don't. [_Gently._] You may leave me at my door, with the
others, if it will give you any satisfaction.
[_As they walk to the door on the left, they are met by COOLING._
COOLING.
[_To LILY, breathlessly._] Haw! Here you are!
LILY.
[_Leaving FARNCOMBE, her manner altering completely._] Come on,
Morrie! [_Her feet moving to the music._] Tra, lal, la! Tra, lal, la!
[_Giving her bouquet to FARNCOMBE._] Hi-i-i-i-i! Bring my flowers!
COOLING AND LILY.
Tra, lal, la! Tra, lal, la----!
[_They run out, half dancing._
STIDULPH.
[_Calling to FARNCOMBE, who is following them._] Lord Farncombe!
FARNCOMBE.
Yes?
STIDULPH.
[_Going to him._] Will you spare me a moment?
FARNCOMBE.
[_A little impatiently._] Er-- certainly.
STIDULPH.
[_Laying a shaky hand on FARNCOMBE'S arm and leading him away from the
door._] Excuse me for what I'm going to say to you. I-- I know your
father-- knew him very well years ago-- and your mother. [_With deep
feeling._] My boy-- my dear boy----
FARNCOMBE.
[_Surprised._] Colonel?
STIDULPH.
I-- I-- I'm sorry to find you in this set.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Stiffly._] What do you mean?
STIDULPH.
Don't be angry with me. I'm an old man-- and an old fool; but it's
from the fools that the useful lessons are to be learned.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Withdrawing his arm from STIDULPH._] I really don't understand you.
STIDULPH.
Try to. Not now-- another time; when this music isn't exciting you,
nor these pretty women. Think it out by yourself! You're at the
beginning of your career, my boy. Remember me-- the old fool who's
brought _his_ to a miserable end-- and that I cautioned you--
cautioned you--!
[_LUIGI hurries in at the door on the left, followed by a waiter
carrying a tray, and by the waiter with the beard._
LUIGI.
[_Laughing._] He, he, he, he! [_Behind the counter, preparing
drinks._] Look out, gentlemen; you are losing it all. They are having
a romp-- a fine lark. [_FARNCOMBE goes out at the door on the left._]
Make haste, Colonel; make haste! [_STIDULPH goes out, slowly, at the
right-hand door at the back._] Whiskey-and-soda for Mr. Tavish;
liqueur of brandy-- Mr. Grimwood. [_The waiter carrying the tray goes
out with the drinks at the door on the left._] Ha, ha, ha! [_Singing
to the music._] Tra, lal, la! Tra, lal, la----!
[_LUIGI is following the waiter who has carried out the tray when the
bearded waiter, coming to the nearer settee in the centre, calls to
him._
THE BEARDED WAITER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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