The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts — John Shaqi
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Sitting upon the settee, gruffly._] Luigi.
LUIGI.
[_Halting._] Eh?
THE BEARDED WAITER.
[_Taking out a handful of money and selecting some gold from it._]
Here! [_Putting the gold into LUIGI'S palm._] For your chaps.
LUIGI.
Oh, you are spoiling them.
THE BEARDED WAITER.
[_Giving some more gold pieces to LUIGI._] For you.
LUIGI.
[_Bowing low._] Thank you very much. [_With a polite grin, as he
disposes of the coins in different pockets._] Hope you have enjoyed
yourself, Captain.
THE BEARDED WAITER.
[_Speaking in the voice of JEYES._] Thoroughly. [_Quietly, between his
teeth._] Warm work, though! [_Rising slowly, like a man with stiff
joints._] I'll be off now, with your permission.
LUIGI.
See you at lunch, Captain?
JEYES.
Probably. [_Nodding._] Good-night. Good morning. [_He slouches away to
the door on the left and there stops, listening. There is the sound of
people approaching, singing uproariously and shouting and laughing._]
Hullo!
LUIGI.
[_At his elbow._] Ho, ho, ho, ho!
[_LUIGI goes out into the corridor and JEYES retreats behind the
counter. The noise increases and presently FULKERSON rushes in,
flourishing his arms madly. He is followed by GLYNN and SHIRLEY who
are carrying LILY upon their interlocked hands, and by PALK who is
helping to support her. Then come HENEAGE and NITA, GRIMWOOD and
DAPHNE, TAVISH and FLO, VON RETTENMAYER and ENID, DE CASTRO and
GABRIELLE, ROPER and MRS. STIDULPH, FARNCOMBE and JIMMIE, BLAND and
EVANGELINE, COOLING and SYBIL, and SMYTHE and OLGA. Singing the chorus
of the "Mind the Paint" song, and dancing to it wildly, they circle
the saloon twice, go out at the right-hand door at the back, return at
the door on the left, and finally disappear through the double-door
and along the landing. The waiters, who have brought up the rear of
the procession, gather, with LUIGI, in the left-hand corner, clapping
their hands, and STIDULPH returns, entering at the right-hand door at
the back._
LILY.
[_Waving her bouquet and shrieking with laughter._] Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Don't drop me! Don't drop me!
HENEAGE AND GRIMWOOD.
[_Yelling._] Whoop! Whoop!
FULKERSON.
[_Deliriously, endeavouring to stand upon his head._] Wh-o-o-op!
JIMMIE.
[_Breaking from the rank and jumping on to the further settee--
singing._] "Mind the paint! Mind the paint! A girl is not a sinner
just because she's not a saint!----"
LILY.
Ha, ha, ha! You'll drop me! Oh----!
[_As the procession passes out of sight, followed by LUIGI and the
waiters, JEYES departs at the door on the left and STIDULPH once more
goes to the counter and lights a cigarette._
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
THE THIRD ACT
_The scene is LILY'S boudoir-- a room upon the second floor of her
house, adjoining her bedroom. The decorations, though delicate, are
gay, with a good deal of pink in them._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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