Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
significance; wooden hands are outstretched as in unrelenting rigidity
against supplication, or, divining the unexpressed thoughts, inexorably
point, as one gazes, still deeper into the recesses of the earth; while
the air is never free from the sounds of groans, shrieks, the rattling
of chains, dull, hopeless noises beneath one’s feet or overhead, and the
hoarse wordless cries of despair with which the attending slaves of the
caverns greet the distant clamour of every approaching fire-chariot.
Admittedly the intention of the device is benevolently conceived, and
it is strenuously asserted that many persons of corrupt habits and
ill-balanced lives, upon waking unexpectedly while passing through
these Beneath Parts, have abandoned the remainder of their journey, and,
escaping hastily to the outer air, have from that time onwards led a
pure and consistent existence; but, on the other foot, those who are
compelled to use the caverns daily, freely confess that the surroundings
do not in any material degree purify their lives or tranquillise the
nature of their inner thoughts.
In this emergency I did not neglect to write out a diversity of charms
against every possible variety of evil influence, and concealing them
lavishly about my head and body, I presented myself with the outer
confidence of a person who is inured to the exploit. Doubtless thereby
being mistaken for one of themselves in the obscurity, I received the
inscribed safeguard without opposition, and even an added sum in copper
pieces, which I discreetly returned to the one behind the shutter, with
the request that he would honourably burn a few joss sticks or sacrifice
to a trivial amount, to the success of my journey. In such a manner
I reached an awaiting train, and, taking up within it a position of
retiring modesty, I definitely committed myself to the undertaking.
At the next tarrying place there entered a barbarian of high-class
appearance, and being by this time less assured of my competence in the
matter unaided, both on account of the multiplicity of evil omens on
every side, and the perverse impulses of the guiding demon, whereby
at sudden angles certain of my organs had the emotion of being left
irrevocably behind and others of being snatched relentlessly forward, I
approached him courteously.
“Behold,” I said, “many thousand li of water, both fresh and bitter,
flow between the one who is addressing you and his native town of
Yuen-ping, where the tablets at the street corners are as familiar to
him as the lines of his own unshapely hands; for, as it is truly said,
‘Does the starling know the lotus roots, or the pomfret read its way by
the signs among the upper branches of the pines?’ Out of the necessities
of his ignorance and your own overwhelming condescension enlighten him,
therefore, whether the destination of this fire-chariot by any chance
corresponds with the inscribed name upon his talisman?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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